Republican Shade

Spike Dolomite
4 min readNov 11, 2022

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Republicans are so mad at each other and humiliated that there wasn’t a red wave that they’re turning on each other. MAGA Republicans are ganging up on the wussy Republicans, and old school Republicans who faked orgasm with Trump are talking among themselves about whether or not it’s time to dump him.

Republicans can not accept that so many young people showed up to vote. Now they want to repeal the 26th amendment. They say that anybody just out of high school has no idea who or what to vote for — they just vote the way MTV tells them to. Um, MTV was two generations ago. It’s the old, scared white people who don’t know who and what they’re voting for because they vote the way Fox tells them to. They’re dying off so now what? Laura Ingraham has an idea. Get young people to vote for them. That’s about as likely as MTV.

Trump is pissed. He’s ranting on Truth Social, as usual, but he’s attacking Republicans and the right wing media. He sees any MAGAs that lost as an insult to him. The Republicans who sold out to Trump are going to regret it because he’s going to get even with them and soon enough we’ll all be privy to the dirt he’s got on them. So many of them crawled into bed with him thinking it was just a fling but now they’re left with a Fatal Attraction. He won’t be ignored. He is seriously ill, a deranged, dangerous man, and now they’re going to find out just how dangerous he is. Innocent people died because of him.

Trump will never die. A one night stand turned into a stalker situation.

Trump has turned on Fox and the right wing media so now they’re starting to turn on him. Wall Street Journal called him the Republican Party’s biggest loser and the New York Post compared Trump to Humpty Dumpty with no wall. Fox News is supporting Ron DeSantis. That really pissed Trump off so he threatened to divulge dirt he has on DeSantis. He claims that he helped DeSantis win in 2016 by sending the FBI and US attorneys in to stop the count so he could win. He says he “stopped the election from being stolen.” Ron DeSantis got 4,076,186 votes and Andrew Gillum got 4,043,723 — a difference of 32,463 votes. He also said he helped Rick Scott win in 2018. That could very well be a lie because he lies all the time, but by doing that he has opened the way for people to start asking questions and reflect back to 2000 when the Supreme Court stopped the count in Florida and declared Bush the winner. Many of the same people who were involved in that in Miami Dade County were in on the insurrection on January 6 which means a new light can shine on Ron DeSantis which he and his crime syndicate do not want.

Trump also posted about Virginia governor Glenn Youngkin to keep him in his place: Young Kin (now that’s an interesting take. Sounds Chinese, doesn’t it?) in Virginia couldn’t have won without me. I Endorsed him, did a very big Trump rally for him telephonically, got MAGA to Vote for him — or he couldn’t have come close to winning. But he knows that, and admits it. Besides, having a hard time with the Dems in Virginia — But he’ll get it done!

Trump hasn’t gone after Congressman Dan Crenshaw yet, but he will. Crenshaw is the one eyed veteran who just won re-election with 66% of the vote because he’s a white Republican Texan. A week ago he admitted that MAGA Republican election deniers actually say behind closed doors that it’s all BS. “It was always a lie. The whole thing was always a lie. And it was a lie meant to rile people up.” It sure did rile people up. Cops were attacked and killed. They tried to assassinate the vice president and speaker of the house. They’re still riled up and Trump is still their master. Trump is going to announce he’s running again so he can stay out of jail and get revenge on all of his enemies. He will punish anybody who dared to defy him and it will be quite a show.

32 House races still need to be called. Dems need 16 to keep the majority. Republicans need 7. Both sides need 2 seats in the Senate to take control. They each have 48 now and 4 races have yet to be called in Arizona, Nevada, Alaska, and Georgia. Whatever happens, Republicans won’t have the power they have been counting on. They’re crashing and burning so enjoy the demolition derby. Make sure you bring sunglasses because some explosions could be blinding.

The future is so bright, Democrats gotta wear shades.

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Spike Dolomite
Spike Dolomite

Written by Spike Dolomite

Daily Crime Report - recounts of Trump and the Republicans’ daily disasters, with puns.

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