Republicans Can’t Win if Everybody Votes

Spike Dolomite
4 min readOct 28, 2022

Somebody broke into Nancy Pelosi’s house in San Francisco and attacked her 82 year husband, Paul. He’s in the hospital this morning.

Katie Hobbs, the Democrat running for governor in Arizona who is running against far right MAGA Republican extremist, Kari Lake, is getting death threats. Her campaign office was broken into and burglarized.

Kari Lake launched a failed conspiracy lawsuit to ban electronic voting machines in Arizona and plans on decertifying the 2020 election. She has spent years spreading conspiracy theories and getting MAGAs worked up. She’s a proponent of Trump’s Big Lie and stands a good chance of winning for only one reason — she’s been on TV for 22 years. She’s Trump, but better looking with a better spray tan. She’s also better at manipulating people through TV than Trump is, and he’s a master at it. She’s Trumpalina and if she wins, Arizona is in really big trouble. Trumpalina is nuts.

People wearing fatigues and masks, openling displaying guns are setting up 75’ away from early voting drop boxes in Maricopa County, Arizona to intimidate voters. The cops say there is nothing they can do because it’s legal to sit 75’ away from people with guns in your lap in Arizona. In other counties, self appointed vigilantes are “standing guard” at drop boxes, filming and photographing voters and their license plates. Some of these wackos have never even voted before but Arizona MAGA Republicans (all of whom have challenged the results of the 2020 election) have convinced them that their services are needed — gubernatorial candidate Kari Lake, secretary of state candidate Mark Finchem, attorney general candidate Abe Hamadeh and US Senate candidate Blake Masters.

Mike Flynn, the disgraced QAnon MAGA Republican general who was part of the attempted coup, and Patrick Byrne, another high profile election denier who was part of the insurrection plot, have started an organization called, The America Project, to recruit more wack jobs to “patrol” on MAGA’s behalf. They’ve been touring different states like an old fashioned Christian tent revival, spreading conspiracy theories, promoting Christian nationalism, reinforcing how rioters were justified in attacking the Capitol, and baptizing people right on the spot. They’re recruiting ex-military and first responders to “staff” polling locations in Arizona, Georgia, Florida, Illinois, Michigan, Pennsylvania, Texas, Virginia, and Wisconsin. They’ve trained 6,000 “poll watchers” in Pennsylvania alone. Mike Flynn tweeted, “They won’t be able to steal this election the same way they stole 2020!”

8 election supervisors have quit and 8 out of 12 employees in 10 counties in Nevada have quit due to death threats.

In Virginia, MAGA Republican governor Glenn Youngkin had 60,000 ballots mailed out with wrong information printed on them. Voters were directed to go to the wrong polling place.

Republicans are already saying the Democrats are stealing the election. Senator Marsha Blackburn said Google is rigging the election by sabotaging Republican candidates’ emails and Marco Rubio concurs. “This appears to be intentional and purposeful. Are they doing this as an in-kind contribution to Democratic campaigns?” Marco Rubio says his emails are going straight to spam folders. Never mind that Democrats’ emails go straight to spam too, because candidates who send three emails a day begging for money is spam.

The mainstream media is working for the Republicans this election cycle by promoting inflation, normalizing fascism, not asking any of them any hard questions, ignoring that they are no longer a legitimate political party, and educating the public about how voter intimidation is a serious threat to democracy. They report on the self-appointed poll watchers as if it’s normal. The story should be self-appointed poll watchers are not normal, and here’s why……

Doug Mastriano, the far right MAGA Republican running for governor in Pennsylvania is accusing the Secretary of State of trying to steal his election. “They can expect a lawsuit….there’s just too many shenanigans.” Doug Mastriano was part of the insurrection too.

At a recent Trump rally, Trump proposed throwing reporters in jail so they could be raped until they give up their sources. He described the Democratic candidates as “against guns, God and oil.”

The Secret Service withheld information they had about credible threats against Nancy Pelosi, Mike Pence, and Chuck Schumer. They received an assassination tip against Schumer on January 6 but didn’t act for an hour.

These aren’t normal times. America is in trouble. Vote “d” for democracy. Vote “d” for danger. Republicans can’t win if they don’t cheat and bully voters. Telling people to only vote for Democrats up and down the ballot would be irresponsible, lazy, and partisan if these were normal times. But these aren’t normal times.

Vote “d” for Democrat.



Spike Dolomite

Daily Crime Report - recounts of Trump and the Republicans’ daily disasters, with puns. Read them all in quarterly reports in The Treason Chronicles on Kindle.