Republicans: The Anti-Party

Spike Dolomite
4 min readDec 14, 2022

The Department of Energy announced a momentous, historical achievement in the search of clean, renewable energy — a breakthrough in nuclear fusion was just made in a lab in Northern California. Scientists achieved “ignition,” a fusion reaction that produces more energy than it took to create. Humans on earth are at the onset of a no waste, cleaner, cheaper energy source, an unlimited, consistent, and reliable competitor to oil. It will take a couple of decades to get it to the point that people can power their cars, homes and businesses with it, but it will make a huge difference in the life of Gen Z’s, the generation that bears the brunt of America’s recklessness and greed. This is good news for the future of humans, animals and plants inhabiting earth, too. We may not go extinct after all.

There’s a light at the end of the tunnel — a future free from fossil fuels and a course correction on climate change. We just have to figure out how to slow global warming down until then.

Since Republicans are anti-science, will they reject fusion technology and insist on driving their gas guzzling SUVs and pay $100 a gallon just to own the libs?

A new vaccine for one of the deadliest forms of cancer will be released in a couple of months that if taken in combination with an existing immunotherapy, will reduce the likelihood of death by 44%.

Since Republicans are anti-science, will they refuse this life saving treatment if they get melanoma and go ahead and die a miserable death just to own the libs?

While President Biden was presiding over a special outdoor ceremony to sign the Respect for Marriage Act at the White House, surrounded by people who fought a long time to make this happen, the Freedom Caucus was over at the Capitol doing its own right-wing press conference, surrounded by a bunch of hateful idiots, ranting about the border. Lauren Boebert damned the Department of Homeland Security for doing its job. She was outraged that 14,000 pounds of fentanyl was seized at the border. Can you believe it? “That is an all time record high!” Hey dummy, the fentanyl was SEIZED. Smugglers got CAUGHT. You don’t own the libs.

Since Republicans are anti-homeland security, does that mean they’ll leave the border now and go rant about something else?

A huge storm is moving across the country and while it may be inconvenient in some parts with power outages and undrivable roads, in other parts it’s bringing lots of snow that will melt and fill rivers and reservoirs.

Since Republicans are anti-every little thing, does that mean they’ll call upon Marjorie Taylor Greene’s Jewish space lasers to control the weather to own the libs so they don’t have any water?

The Select Committee will hold its final public meeting on Monday, December 19 at 1 p.m. ET, two days earlier than expected. The final report will come on Wednesday, December 21.

Since the Republicans are anti-democracy and anti-investigation, does that mean that they’ll all be hopping on planes this week to take up residence in foreign countries to avoid being owned by the libs?

Independent senator, Kyrsten Sinema, is a little freaked out that more people aren’t paying attention to her after her big announcement that she was switching parties. She thought the news would cause more of a stir, but it didn’t. Nobody was surprised. She’s pretty predictable and after all we’ve been through with Trump, Americans are pretty good at predicting narcissistic behavior. What if Biden created a cabinet position for Sinema so the new Democratic governor of Arizona could pick her replacement and put a real Democrat in her place? Sinema could be the Wig Master of the Political Theatre Department.

Kyrsten Sinema is anti-everything except Kyrsten Sinema. She owns everybody.

Today is the 10 year anniversary of the Sandy Hook shooting. The 20 first graders who were all murdered in their classroom should all be in high school now, looking forward to graduation and college but they’re not because Republicans are anti-gun control. They care more about anybody being able to buy an AR-15, a weapon used for war, any time they feel like it than they do the lives of innocent children. Every school shooting that has happened after Sandy Hook was the result of one white male getting ahold of an AR-15 and taking out his rage on the most vulnerable in our society — our kids.

Republicans are anti-child, anti-public safety, anti-education. They own every school shooting. Republicans and the people who vote for them should be less considered with owning the libs and more considered with who or what owns their souls.

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Spike Dolomite

Daily Crime Report - recounts of Trump and the Republicans’ daily disasters, with puns. Read them all in quarterly reports in The Treason Chronicles on Kindle.