Robustus Justice

Spike Dolomite
5 min readJan 24, 2023
Justice is coming for Scott Perry. After every private meeting he had with Mark Meadows in his office, Meadows would burn papers in his fireplace. Wood burning or gas?

Richard (Bigo) Barnett was found guilty on all counts for his role in the insurrection. He’s the guy famous for putting his feet up on Nancy Pelosi’s desk and then stealing an envelope and bragging about it later on camera. He says he didn’t get a fair trial because he was tried in DC with a bunch of Biden voters on the jury. He thinks he should have been tried in Arkansas if he was really going to be judged by a jury of his “peers” — dumb fuck hick confederate insurrectionists. He found a peer in his attorney, though. The dumb ass said he didn’t get a fair trial because DC isn’t a state. He took the stand in his own defense which was a huge mistake. His arrogance and belligerence directed towards the jury really put them off. He talked a lot about his regrets during direct examination but was evasive and combative when the government questioned him. He admitted that he told a cop inside Pelosi’s office who was kicking everybody out that “we’re in a war. You need to pick a side. Don’t be in the wrong side or you’re going to get hurt.” The government property that he stole? He said he took the envelope because he got blood on it and wanted to dispose of it properly because it was a “biohazard.” He unsuccesfully tried getting sympathy for the brain trauma he got inside the DC jail, saying that he gets confused but he doesn’t think he broke any laws. He was just stupid. “I feel like a fucking idiot.” The fucking idiot excuse didn’t work. It took the jury 2 hours to convict him. He will be sentenced on May 3.

All four Oath Keepers — Ed Vallejo, Roberto Minuta, Joseph Hackett and David Moerschel — were found guilty of seditious conspiracy, conspiracy to obstruct Congress on January 6, and conspiracy to destroy federal property. They tried the fucking idiot defense too but it didn’t work.

Next up — the Proud Boys. They’re being tried down the hall. Stupid fucking macho idiots. One of the questions they were asked was about the stabbing at a rally on December 12, a day that comes up a lot in the depositions of the Select Committee. They were also asked about masturbation.

A former top FBI official, Charles McGonigal, was charged with working for sanctioned Russian oligarch Oleg Deripaska, the guy who helped Trump win whose name has been popping up since 2016. He headed up the investigation into Russia meddling in the election and found no connection. He was arrested for violating Russian sanctions and taking and laundering money for Oleg Deripaska. His background is in Russian foreign intelligence. He was the special agent in charge of counterintelligence in the FBI’s New York Field Office. He tried to get Oleg Deripaska off of the sanctions list. It’s now known yet if he sold US secrets to the Russians.

Three active duty Marines who work in intelligence were arrested for being part of the insurrection. Micah Coomer, Joshua Abate, and Dodge Dale Hellonen were arrested on four charges for interfering with the peaceful transfer of power. A few weeks after the siege, Coomer told an unidentified person on Instagram, “everything in this country is corrupt. We honestly need a fresh restart. I’m waiting for the boogaloo.” When the other person asked what a “boogaloo” was he replied, “Civil war 2.” The Boogaloo movement is a group separate from the Oath Keepers and Proud Boys. These guys are anti-government white supremacists who love violence. “Boogaloo” is slang for a future race war.

The insurrectionists in the House of Representatives were delivered a polite blow from the Department of Justice when it formally responded to Jim Jordan’s request to turn over records they had on him and them. Jim Jordan is the new Republican chair of the House Judiciary Committee. His only goal is to investigate the investigators. There is proof that he was involved in the planning of the insurrection and should be in jail but Kevin McCarthy put him in charge. He also put other members who were involved in the insurrection on the committee. All of these guys asked for pardons! They have given themselves power over the DOJ but the DOJ put them in their place by saying they won’t be giving them any information on any ongoing investigations. Jim Jordan is both a target and witness in the DOJ’s investigation. He texted back and forth with Mark Meadows before January 6 and sweated and stammered when asked about talking to Trump on the phone on January 6 when asked about it by reporters. As the mob was closing in on them in the House chambers that day, Jim Jordan tried to be a gentleman and help Liz Cheney out which she didn’t appreciate. “You fucking did this,” she told him. She went on to serve on the Select Committee to investigate the insurrection. He was subpoenaed but he blew it off. The head of the new House Judiciary Committee was in contempt of Congress.

There were 3 mass shootings in California within 48 hours — 11 were killed in Monterey Park during a Chinese Lunar New Year festival celebration (an unarmed 26 year old, Brandon Tsay, wrestled the gun away from the 72 year old murderer at the second location where he went to gun down more people). Hours later 8 were shot at a gas station in Oakland (one died) and then 7 Chinese farm workers were killed in front of children at Half Moon Bay by a 67 year man yesterday. The two men who killed innocent Asians were Asian themselves. During the same time period, 12 were shot and injured at a nightclub in Baton Rouge, Louisiana, 8 were shot and injured in Shreveport, Louisiana, 4 were shot at the Tunica Resorts in Mississippi, and 3 were shot at a school in Iowa (2 teens died). Total mass shootings for 2023 is somewhere around 38. It’s hard to keep track anymore.

Meanwhile, the Republicans are not busy fixing the border, gas prices, or inflation like they said they would during their 2022 campaigns. They’re ranting about candy and gas stoves. The dancing M&Ms have been laid off after conservatives noticed that there had been a costume change. Tucker Carlson turned it into a thing and accused Mars, Inc., the company that has been making M&Ms for forever, of going woke and veering left by switching shoes so the company announced they would pull the animated characters from their advertising so as not to offend the Fox News audience. The gas stove thing started after some guy who was part of a study on natural gas stoves and childhood asthma recommended legislation to regulate emissions. Fox found out about it and turned it into a Democrat led thing which enraged the crazies who threatened to second amendment the government if it came for their stoves. Gas stoves gaslighting compliments of Fox News.

“Threatening to shoot anyone who tries to take your gas stove from you is a good reason to have your guns taken from you.” — Jeff Tiedrich



Spike Dolomite

Daily Crime Report - recounts of Trump and the Republicans’ daily disasters, with puns. Read them all in quarterly reports in The Treason Chronicles on Kindle.