Runaround Sue
It’s about a girl that Trump once knew
She took his love then ran around
With every single guy in town
Yeah, you should have known it from the very start
This girl will leave you with a medical chart
Now listen people what I’m telling you
A keep away from a Runaround Sue
10 days after people risked their lives to vote in Wisconsin, MAGAs took to the street to own the libs by demanding that Wisconsin be opened. Lots of flag waving and posters honoring their leader for whom they are obviously willing to die for. Let’s sue the state! Idiots like this should be forced to sign waivers that say they won’t accept any emergency medical treatment for being reckless assholes and jeopardizing the lives of everyone they have come in contact in exchange for their “right” to assemble during a deadly pandemic.
The governor of South Dakota Kristi Noem (but you can call me Sue) is crawling all over Trump like a paid off porn star to get all sorts of media attention for the cause of downplaying the pandemic. Pay no attention to the pork plant closed after more than 400 workers tested positive for the coronavirus. Look away! Look away! Shoo Shoo SOOEY! I’m on TV!!!!!! Look President Trump, I’m on TV! Apparently in South Dakota pigs can fly.
California crazies are making themselves known, too. While the majority of the 40 million living in California are living their best life by living it at home and staying alive, the fringe MAGA weirdos dominated the empty streets in San Diego and Huntington Beach to demand that the government not control their bodies. They need a haircut! They want to go to the bar! Give me liberty or give me death! Meanwhile a group of ministers in SoCal are suing the governor because the coronavirus is bad for their business. No butts in pews equals no bucks for dues. Sue sue sueeeeey!
Fox News is reporting on people not being able to get their nails done because they’re being forced to stay home. People who bought clothes and only have 30 days to return them. This is an outrage! Somebody better get sued!
The MAGAs are out in the streets saying they want to get back to work but what they really want is for everybody else to go back to work so they can go out to eat, see a movie, and show off their trucks.
“Some of this is already happening, obviously, but it seems like very soon, social distancing is going to be treated by many primarily as a political act — a way of signaling which ‘side’ you’re on.” — McKay Coppins
Trump says that this is a good time to talk about the second amendment and that the coronavirus has passed its peak so grab your guns, get back to work, and let’s start suing people!
Mike Huckabee is warning MAGAs that things are getting dangerous. They have lost their liberty and the liberals and minorities are coming for them. “Smart mayors would be saying if this thing continues to last, you might be prepared to protect yourself…because if people get desperate and they go to the store and they can’t buy toilet paper, they may bust into your house to get yours.”
Trump has promised his groupies that he’ll hold “never fear” rallies as the November election date nears, regardless if there are social distancing rules or not. He’ll sue. “Well I hope we can do rallies. It’s great for the country, it’s great spirit, it’s great for a lot of things. For me, it’s a tremendous way of getting the word out…We have tremendous success, we win where we have rallies.”
Apparently, Mark Meadows, Trump’s new chief of staff who resigned his seat in Congress to serve the Freedom Caucus King, cries during meetings. Tears of joy maybe because he’s met his idol? Trump didn’t call Mark a pussy for crying at work. In fact, he defended him against New York Times reporter, Maggie Haberman, for mentioning it. “She came out and said Mark Meadows was crying. And they made it sound — and it’s okay if he did. I mean, look. But I think he was crying probably really for the wrong reason. They had it down. But he’s not a crier … she’s fake.”
The cops want to remind everybody to put your damn pants on before you go out to check the mail. This is your last warning.
“I feel like I’m stuck on a booby trapped cruise ship full of snakes with a captain who already blew one of his legs off and has a snake hanging from his cheek while he’s talking about what a great job he’s doing with the snakes and booby traps” Robert Maguire
Michael Cohen is getting a get out of jail free card so he doesn’t catch the Trump Plague from the other prisoners. He’s been spending all that time sitting in jail writing a tell all book about being Trump’s personal lawyer. Trump will sue the shit out of him.
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