Running On Empty

He’s back!

Twitler is back and he’s tweeting. Trump the Chump has returned to America empty handed, but if you ask him it was incredible, tremendous. They love me. I got the royal treatment.

Here at home, it’s a real shit show. Run! Run for the hills! He’s back!

Attorney General Jeff Sessions gave Congress members the run-around by saying, “I don’t recall” at least 20 times during the House Judiciary Committee hearing. This is the fourth time he has had to testify this year.

When asked about his involvement in communicating with the Russians during the campaign, America’s Losing Elf said come on you guys, the campaign was nothing more than a bunch of bumbling idiots bumping into each other. We didn’t know what we were doing. It was pure chaos. Trump just wanted to take the money and run. We didn’t expect to win. Do you really think we had it together enough to collude with the Russians? Come on! We’re incompetent!

America’s Losing Elf was the smartest Keystone Cop in the band of bumbling stooges. He knows well and good that they colluded with the Russians and he knew how much trouble they’d get in if caught, because he’s an attorney. So he’s lying. The little imp is lying.

Runaround and sue Howdy Doody Children of the Corn Trey Gowdy didn’t ask any substantive questions. He used his time to recite a monologue that he hopes people will remember because he wants them to forget he’s the big imp that blew through millions to blow up Hillary on Benghazi.

Alabama rednecks say that molesting kids ain’t no more worse than stealing a lawnmower and there ain’t no way that good ol’ boy Roy Moore is gonna lose over a stolen lawnmower.

Kayla Moore is Roy Moore’s wife. She’s one of those crackpots who thinks Barack Obama is a Muslim. She says that her husband’s accusers were paid and she can prove it. Democrats will stop at nothing to ruin her husband. She published a list of 53 pastors who stand by her man. When some of the pastors found out about the list, they said WTF, take me off that list! And then they ran like hell.

Roy and Kayla met at a Bible Study group in 1985, or so the story goes.

Kayla Moore is the president of the Foundation for Moral Law, an Alabama-based nonprofit that exists to restore the knowledge of God in law and government. Roy founded it in 2002 and is on the payroll. He makes $180,000 a year as a part time “employee.”

Moore is the Trump of Alabama and he could very will win. Trump did.

Rush Limbaugh says Roy Moore was a Democrat when he was molesting young girls.

Sean Hannity is afraid of losing his job because he has lost so many advertisers so now he is saying that Roy Moore has 24 hours to step it up to really convince him that he’s not guilty. “The American people need truth and honesty.” You’re running out of time, Roy. Prove yourself to Sean Hannity.

Bernie Bernstein from the Washington Post is calling people in Alabama to offer women ages 54–57 money to lie about Roy Moore sexually assaulting them. There is nobody by the name of Bernie Bernstein who works at the Washington Post. It’s a dirty trick using a Jew because Alabamians don’t like Jews any more than they like Democrats, gays, blacks or Mexicans.

Alabama congressman Mo Brooks ran down a flight of stairs to get away from a reporter, reciting, “The Lord is my shepherd I shall not want, the Lord is my shepherd I shall not want.” No, wait. That wasn’t it. It was, “I believe that the Democrats will do great damage to the country on a myriad of issues. I believe that the Democrats will do great damage to the country on a myriad of issues.”

There was another school shooting in northern California but it didn’t make the news because not enough kids got shot. Oh, and the shooter wasn’t a black guy or a Muslim, so who cares.

Speaking of mass shootings, Twitler tweeted his condolences to Sutherland Springs 8 days late: “May God be with the people of Sutherland Springs, Texas. The FBI and Law Enforcement has arrived.”

The Republicans are running out of time so they have snuck something new into their tax plan. Repealing Obamacare!

Meuller is closing in on Kushner, Junior, Flynn 1 & 2, Manafort, Carter Page, etc. They’re getting ready to run. They can’t run to the hills because the rest of us are there so they’ll have to run to Russia and hope that there is room at the inn during Christmas time.

Republican hypocrite fun fact: Republicans have spent over $500,000 at Trump properties for fundraisers, including the Trump campaign.

Ohio Governor John Kasich is already running for president, even though he says he isn’t.

There are too many old white men running things. Women, PoCs and millennials: RUN! Run for our lives!



Daily Crime Report - recounts of Trump and the Republicans’ daily disasters, with puns. Read them all in quarterly reports in The Treason Chronicles on Kindle.

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Spike Dolomite

Daily Crime Report - recounts of Trump and the Republicans’ daily disasters, with puns. Read them all in quarterly reports in The Treason Chronicles on Kindle.