S.S. Minnow
The Shit Show Minnow went down with several other boats in a floatilla for Trump in Texas.
The MAGA boat parade was a disaster. There were too many drunken cultists making waves and crashing into each other that forced other cult members to go down with the ship. They did it to themselves — out of control, selfish, reckless idiots racing back and forth, pounding into each other, hurting each other, tossing each other overboard, while drunkenly yelling, “I will go down with this ship!” and “Don’t tread on me!” as they treaded water. Just like on land, MAGAs can’t even keep their own boats afloat but they really believe they can because they’re white, even as selfless tax funded Emergency Medical Service personnel pull them out of the water.
Conspiracy theorists immediately called it a terrorist attack. Fox News covered the parade without mentioning any boats sinking. Trump said he wished he could be with them but he’s really focused on the election. He was golfing.
Too many inexperienced, half naked, wasted weekend boaters refusing to respect others by following public safety rules, violating no wake zones, speed limits, and safe boating distance laws creating too much wake, just like they do every day of their lives, but they didn’t do it. Boater fraud!
They called 9–1–1 for socialist help.
The ironies, metaphors, and jokes keep coming, but one in particular is how the libtards viewed the catastrophe as it was happening. They had a good laugh at the MAGAs’ expense, but they didn’t want to see anybody hurt. On the other hand, if Biden voters were in the same boat (pun intended,) they’d wish them all dead.
Here’s what some of the libtards had to say:
“I’m sure it’s just the old boats and the ones with pre-existing conditions.”
“Let me guess — the wake of the big, going-fast, expensive boats tipped over or flooded smaller, middle-class boats.”
“Thank you for calling the Metaphor Department. We are experiencing unusually high call-volume…”
“Big ups to all the antifa submarine operators for their fantastic work today.”
“His support is literally sinking.”
“The virus is now waterborne.”
“Release the sharks!”
“All boats matter.”
“This is a berther movement.”
“I believe this happened in the no-woke zone.”
“They’re only finding more boats at the bottom of Lake Travis because they’re testing more.”
“Don’t rescue them — let them pull themselves out of the water by their bootstraps.”
“It was probably an Antifa submarine shooting torpedo soup cans.”
“They’ll have to drain the swamp to get their boats back.”
Ignorance, recklessness, irresponsibility, and privilege was on full display in Texas yesterday. Boats sunk because boaters were going too fast, causing large wakes and swamping others which led to a frantic socialist response from first responders to save them. Just like the coronavirus. I’m not wearing a mask or social distancing. GET OUT OF MY WAY!
Still no Republicans have condemned Trump for trashing the military. Whatever floats your boat, traitors. See you in November.
58 days until we get to vote.
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