Same BS, Different Day

Spike Dolomite
4 min readDec 9, 2022

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The House passed and Biden signed into law the Respect for Marriage Act, which codifies same-sex and interracial marriages. Gay and interracial married couples are safe now from the Supreme Court which was poised to outlaw both. 169 voted no — all Republicans. Vicky Hartzler of Missouri begged and cried during her speech on the House floor, asking people not to vote for it. She cried. The woman has got issues.

President Biden said Congress “provided hope and dignity to millions of young people across this country who can grow up knowing that their government will recognize and respect the families they build.” Does that mean that gay teachers in Florida can take their photos of themselves with her spouses out of their desk drawers and put them back up on their desks and safely include their students with same sex parents in discussions about families now? Now that gay marriage is legal on a federal level, does that make the “Don’t Say Gay” law in Florida illegal?

Speaking of “Don’t Say Gay” in Florida, the guy who wrote that law and got indicted for ripping off the federal government resigned which is really unusual for the Republican party. Those guys can be indicted for murder and still show up for work.

The DOJ has asked a judge to hold Trump in contempt for refusing to cooperate with their investigation into the stolen classified documents at Mar-a-Lago.

Ivanka cut a deal with the New York Attorney General so she won’t have to have a babysitter oversee her finances anymore. The AG had filed a financial crimes case against her, her brothers and her dad. Nobody knows yet what kind of deal her attorneys made on her behalf but it must suck to be Ivanka. She’s’ in big trouble with the law in New York, she’s in trouble with the DOJ, her husband is being investigated for selling out the country, New York society wants nothing to do with either one of them, and the moms at her kids’ school PTA pretend like they don’t know her. It’s going to be hard to sell her new brand, Stay At Home Mom, in south Florida after everybody said, “there goes the neighborhood” when they moved in.

Disgraced general and high profile Christian nationalist, Mike Flynn, testified before the grand jury in Fulton County. He took the 5th a lot when deposed by the Select Committee so he probably did the same with the grand jury. Like everybody else who was involved in the attempted coup, he’s still mooching off the government, collecting a military pension after betraying his country.

Another substation shooting happened in South Carolina only they weren’t successful. A truck pulled up and someone shot at the station but they took off having missed their target. Substations in Oregon and Washington were hit last month with guns, chains, power tools and arson. The insurrection is not over.

Brittney Griner, the American WNBA basketball player who played for the women’s team in Russia, is back home after spending 10 months in jail after a tiny amount of THC was discovered in her luggage. Biden negotiated her release by trading her with an actual criminal in US custody, a Russian arms dealer who is wanted in several other countries. Kevin McCarthy called it “a big win for Putin.”

Kevin McCarthy promised Marjorie Taylor Greene a spot on the high-profile Oversight Committee after she was kicked off of all committees awhile back for being a lunatic.

Democrat in name only Kyrsten Sinema was so pissed that Raphael Warnock won and gave the Democrats the majority in the Senate that she announced that she will no longer be a Democrat and is registering as an Independent. She will continue to create drama and get lots of attention for the next 2 years. She gets to keep her title of needy, self-serving, two faced Queen (in name only). She made another statement by not joining Biden on his trip to Arizona with the rest of the Democratic delegates. Everybody is talking about her today and that’s exactly what she wants. Just when everybody thought she’d fade away into obscurity and become irrelevant, she pulls this crap. This has nothing to do with what her constituents want. This is a selfish narcissistic move on her part. It is and always has been all about her. She deliberately waited for the outcome in Georgia so she could steal Warnock’s thunder and create chaos. She knows she’d be primaried in 2024 and suffer humiliating defeat so she is making this calculated move to save her political career. Kyrsten Sinema thinks of herself as an edgy, unpredictable, hip individualist with her pink wigs and wardrobe from Forever 21, her flirting with Republicans, and her bisexual status, but the only people she truly represents are the white women who think of themselves as good people and then show up on Election Day and vote for Republicans.

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Spike Dolomite
Spike Dolomite

Written by Spike Dolomite

Daily Crime Report - recounts of Trump and the Republicans’ daily disasters, with puns.

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