Say Goodbye to Hollywood

Trump finally got the fuck off our lawn. The Reality TV president has left the White House and is on his way to Florida where they don’t want him either. His farewell MAGA rally he threw for himself on the tarmac was the smallest crowd size ever. Nobody showed. Not even Mike Pence. He boarded AF1 to the tune of “YMCA”, a small, petty nobody of a man. Say goodbye to Hollywood. Show is over.

The streets of DC are dead, stark, eerie.

1,461 days of Trump. 1,461 days of daily assaults on our democracy and our individual psyches. We’re traumatized. Battered. Exhausted.

It started with grab ’em by the pussy and it ended with over 400,000 dead and an attempted coup instigated by the president.

It started with a pathetic, tiny inauguration with no one in the stands and nobody but a high school marching band to play and ended with nobody showing up for his goodbye party. He slunk out of the White House early this morning without much notice. Nobody cares.

Our institutions held, barely. If he had won re-election that would have been the end of the great American experiment. Seriously. We came that close to losing it all.

Before making his final exit, he pardoned and gave clemency grants to 143 ex-cons and cons including some more of his corrupt allies such as RNC fundraiser Elliot Broidy who sold access to Trump to foreigners, and Steve Bannon who ripped off MAGAs by getting them to send him $25 million for the nonexistent wall. Paul Erickson, the former boyfriend of the Russian operative Maria Butina, got a pass. Some of the people on Shitler’s List may have really redeemed themselves and are a benefit to society now but they will be forever tainted by the Trump brand.

He didn’t pardon himself, his family or Rudy. Or did he, in secret?

Trump is talking about creating a “Patriot Party” where he’ll draw MAGA voters away from the GOP and weaken the Republican Party even more. The fools who have been pandering to conspiracy theorists and racists are going to have to join the Patriot Party or find some other line of work.

Trump is of no more use to Mitch McConnell. He said he hopes he never has to speak to Trump again and is not telling senators to back him in the trial. The ones who do will have to join the Patriot Party.

Melania is leaving as the most unpopular First Lady ever. She smiled for the first time.

Will the GOP atone for Trump, sweep him under the rug, or focus on tax cuts for the rich and call it a victory?

Will Americans pretend like Trump never happened like slavery and indigenous genocide?

Joe Biden led the country in a simple, dignified ritual at sundown honoring the over 400,000 people who have died from the coronavirus, the nurses who cared for them, and all of the people who have been alone in their sadness, missing special people they loved. He made it possible for Americans to grieve together. America’s 9 month isolation streak broke for a short while and we got to let it all out at the same time. The country got to meditate on their loss together and let their loved ones go with love and respect at long last. None of them got a peaceful, dignified death surrounded in familial love. They died alone and afraid, before their time. Americans really needed it and there is nobody better to preside over it than Joe Biden, a man of great empathy and a survivor of the most unbearable of losses.

Joe Biden has had the white wall that Trump put up around the perimeter of the White House taken down.

2 more hours.

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Spike Dolomite

Daily Crime Report - recounts of Trump and the Republicans’ daily disasters, with puns. Read them all in quarterly reports in The Treason Chronicles on Kindle.