Sayonara sucker.

Spike Dolomite
3 min readNov 13, 2017


Trump thanked the “millions and millions” of veterans who have defended America in a video for Veterans Day after defending our enemy, Russia, and mocking our intelligence on foreign soil, and then taking service dogs away from vets. The Warrior Canine Connection program has been told that they’re not needed.

Trump doesn’t even have a dog.

Roy Moore’s campaign strategy for the next month? He’s going to talk about God. If we just get back to God everything will be OK.

Breitbart has sent 2 reporters to Alabama to discredit Roy Moore’s accusers. Rape apologists and women haters are saying that Judge Moore’s accusers are screwed up. If they are, maybe they’re screwed up because they were molested as kids.

All of the hullabaloo about transgender people molesting little girls in public restrooms if allowed to pee in them sure sounds funny now that a possible future senator is accused of molesting little girls and using a Bible story to rationalize it — Joseph the Carpenter did it without really doing it.

Sean Hannity desperately tried to coach Roy Moore into denying he’s a pedophile on his show but Roy didn’t get it and admitted to being a pedophile without really admitting it. As a result, the coffee maker company Keurig withdrew its advertising from Hannity’s show. In protest, Fox viewers took hammers and busted up coffee makers they already paid for. Everybody else went out and bought Keurig coffee makers for their friends and family for Christmas.

“In response to the boycott, coffee maker Keurig is coming out with a new flavor: Grounds for Impeachment” — Patrick S. Tomlinson

There is still an open sexual assault case against Trump.

What would happen to all the Trump lovers if Fox News just all of a sudden went off the air? Would their wieners shrink?

Fox News says that Jimmy Kimmel isn’t qualified to talk politics. Celebs who have gone on Fox to talk politics? Ted Nugent, Chuck Norris, the dumbest Baldwin brother, Chachi, Fabio, Gene Simmons, Wayne Newton, Kid Rock, and Victoria Jackson.

Reasonable people would like to know — What would have to happen for the Republicans to say “This is un-American?” Child molestation is OK, grabbing women by the pussy and bragging about it is OK, treason is OK, killing people by taking their health care away is OK, standing by and doing nothing after innocent people get blown away in churches, schools and movie theaters is OK. What’s un-American? Taking a knee?

Republican hypocrite fun fact: They’re all un-American.

A good guy with a gun had a bad day and took his gun out and shot and killed his young wife and two babies before killing himself. Guns don’t kill people. Dads who have bad days kill people.

While in Vietnam, the President of the United States tweeted: Does the Fake News Media remember when Crooked Hillary Clinton, as Secretary of State, was begging Russia to be our friend with the misspelled reset button? Obama tried also, but he had zero chemistry with Putin.

Here’s what we need to do to flip the House in #november2018: Elect moms (lots of moms — they get shit done and they don’t take shit from anyone, especially bratty Republican kids,) women of color, young women, and female veterans.

Today Trump met with a murderer, President Duterte, in the Philippines. He praised their great relationship. “We’ve had a great relationship,” he said. “This has been very successful,” wrapping up Trump’s Asian Kiss Up Tour . He sucked up to China and the most vile, dangerous, murderous despots in the world — Putin, Kim jong-un, and Duterte. Now they’re all friends. They like me, they really, really like me.

This concludes Trump’s 10 day PGA (Pussy Grabs Asia) tour. He’s headed back.

Get back. Get back. Get back to the USSR.



Spike Dolomite

Daily Crime Report - recounts of Trump and the Republicans’ daily disasters, with puns. Read them all in quarterly reports in The Treason Chronicles on Kindle.