Selfish Jerks

Spike Dolomite
4 min readNov 17, 2020

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New coronavirus cases in November have gone from 74,236 on November 1st to 166,581 yesterday, November 16 because half of all Americans are selfish jerks.

The North Texas Food Bank just had its largest distribution day ever — thousand of cars waited for 7,000 turkeys and 600,000 pounds of food — enough food to feed 25,000 people. Looking at an aerial view of the cars lined up all the way to the freeway one has to wonder how many of them voted for Republicans who put them in this situation.

“Republicans complain about the welfare state, but blue America is carrying red America on its back and all we are getting in return is a system more and more rigged against us.” — David Rothkopf

In El Paso, inmates from detention centers have been brought in to help with the overflow of covid cases in hospitals. Patients who are near death are sent to a special area dubbed The Pit where they are left to die.

South Dakovid is the most dangerous place in the world because of selfish jerks.

Just when you think the Republicans have gone as far as they can go to cheat, steal, and kill, they go even further and get away with it. Lindsey Graham, senator from South Carolina and chair of the Senate Judiciary Committee, asked the Secretary of State of Georgia, Brad Raffensperger, to help Trump win by throwing out ballots. If Lindsey Graham would ask the secretary of state of another state to throw out legal votes, how many do you think he asked the secretary of his own state to throw out? Republicans aren’t just selfish jerks, they’re criminals.

Republicans pressured Brad Raffensperger to recount or resign. He’s been getting death threats. Brad Raffensperger is one of the few Republicans who isn’t a selfish jerk or criminal. He wants no part of the Republicans taking down democracy.

Trump appointee Emily Asher of the General Services Administration lied to Congress about Trump telling her to relocate the FBI headquarters so it wouldn’t interfere with his business for his hotel across the street in DC. She’s counting on a pardon from Trump so she won’t sign off on the necessary paperwork to allocate resources to Biden’s team for the transition. Send her an email or a tweet and tell her to quit being a selfish jerk and do her damn job. Emily.Murphy@gsa.gov or @gsaemily.

Mitch McConnell and the Republicans are laser focused on stealing the 2 Senate seats in Georgia to keep 2 criminals, David Perdue and Kelly Loeffler, in power. If they lose their seats to Democratic challengers Raphael Warnock and Jon Ossoff, they lose the senate and Democrats will cut Moscow Mitch’s balls off.

The 2 Democrats in Georgia are campaigning together. David Perdue refuses to debate Jon Ossoff because he’s scared of him. Jon Ossoff is young and pro-choice. He interned for John Lewis, his wife is a doctor, his mom runs an organization to elect women, and his dad is a publisher. Raphael Warnock is a black Baptist minister with humble roots (he grew up in public housing.) Kelly Loeffler thinks she’ll just be able to buy her seat just like she has everything else. She doesn’t represent Georgia anymore than Trump represents MAGAs. She’s got nothing in common with anybody but the 1%. She and her husband are worth $520 million. She’s the richest member of the US Senate. They live in a $10.5 million, 15,000 square foot mansion with flooring imported from Versailles in a gated community called Tuxedo Park. They named their estate Descante. She likes to say that she won’t let California and New York buy this runoff election (because she intends to buy it.)

23,000 young adults weren’t old enough to vote in Georgia for the presidential election but they will be old enough to vote in the runoff elections in January. Black women organizers are busting their butts getting them registered right now.

The Senate is still in play. All eyes on Georgia! If Jon Ossoff and Raphael Warnock win, Democrats will be able to really get stuff done and undo all of the stuff that Trump and the Republicans have done that hurt everybody but the rich.

40% of country is going to celebrate Thanksgiving as they always have because they’re selfish jerks. Enough of them will get sick and have to be hospitalized which will further strain the system and put more health care providers at risk.

Joe Biden will get his first security briefing today. Joe has been pretty relaxed about being snubbed by Trump so far because he has a close colleague who is on the Senate Intelligence Committee (Kamala) so he’s informed.

Trump has nothing on his schedule today as usual. He hasn’t had anything on his schedule for 10 out of the 14 days since the election. All he does is sulk, eat, watch TV, yell at people, tweet, golf, and act like a selfish jerk.

64 days until Trump is evicted from the White House.

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Spike Dolomite
Spike Dolomite

Written by Spike Dolomite

Daily Crime Report - recounts of Trump and the Republicans’ daily disasters, with puns.

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