The first day of Trump’s second impeachment trial was a disaster for Trump. His 2 attorneys made total fools of themselves. There was no denying it, they were that bad. Even the Republicans had to admit that it was a clown show.

The trial took place inside an active crime scene where the jurors were witnesses and victims of the crime and 2 jurors in particular, Bozo Josh Hawley and Krusty the KKKlown Cruz, were active participants of the crime in question. Republicans, all in whiteface, were rude, just like they were during the last impeachment trial, getting in and out of the clown car as they fiddled with their phones, talked among themselves, read books, and went out of their way to show the Democrats that they weren’t listening. After the Democrats finished with their outstanding, never to be denied opening presentation against Trump, the Trump team took IT out.

Trump’s legal team totally bombed but no matter. Republicans don’t care. They didn’t even listen or take notes. Their minds were made up, just like they were last time. He could have had a cat represent him and they’d still vote to acquit (that’s punny because while this was going on a technologically challenged lawyer screwed up a Zoom call with a judge by not being able to take down a cat filter and it went viral. “I am not a cat!”)

Trump’s attorneys said Trump should be prosecuted and not impeached because he’s not president anymore. They also said they had to change their presentation because the House Managers did too good of a job. So they put on a really bad show. Rodeo clown Bruce Castor, wearing a wrinkly over sized clown suit, went before the US Senate and winged it, which sucks for Trump because this wasn’t Bruce’s first rodeo (“Oops, oh well, I’m not getting paid anyway.) He had nothing prepared. Everybody knew this guy flunked out of clown school. “People are smart enough to pick a new administration when they don’t like the old one and they just did…….After he’s out of office you go and arrest him.” Sad clown David Schoen (the mob attorney who has represented the scum of the earth and had met with Jeffrey Epstein days before he killed himself) read his notes really really fast, yelled, drank a lot of water, touched his head a lot, read a poem, and cried.

Trump should have gone with a public defender. He was so pissed watching it on TV at Hardy Har Har-a-Lago that his clown makeup slid off because he was sweating so much.

Bozo Josh Hawley and Ronald McDonald Johnson voted no on the trial’s organizing resolution. “This is not constitutional!” Honk honk, laugh, laugh, whooooah whoooooah, ding dong! Rand Paul not only voted no but he refused to wear a mask. History should photoshop a red nose on his ugly smug libertarian face for posterity.

The final vote on whether or not the trial was constitutional passed. All Democrats and 6 Republicans voted yes. 44 Republicans voted no. Creepy clown Mitch McConnell voted no but then told his caucus to go ahead and vote their conscience later which is creepy because Republicans don’t have a conscience.

After the day was over, Senator Mike Lee was asked to comment on Trump inciting an insurrection against the US government. He defended Trump INSIDE THE CAPITOL RIGHT WHERE THE CRIME TOOK PLACE by saying, “Everyone makes mistakes. Everyone is entitled to a mulligan once in awhile.”

Court jester Mike Lee turned the US Capitol into the Big Top by calling an insurrection a mulligan.

Elect a clown, expect a circus.

Expect a lot of really bad entertainment from the Republican clown caucus, turning it all on the Democrats. Lots of party tricks like Pin the Tale on the Donkey.

“Many GOP Senators refused to watch the video of the Capitol attack on January 6. You know what they say — see no evil, hear no evil — makes you seem really evil.” — Stephen Colbert

This should be an open and shut case but the fix is in. Republicans are pure evil. “They ALL float down here. When you’re down here with us, you’ll float too!”

The US Senate used to be the greatest deliberative body in the entire world but the Republicans trashed it and turned it into a clown show. A really scary clown show.

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Daily Crime Report - recounts of Trump and the Republicans’ daily disasters, with puns. Read them all in quarterly reports in The Treason Chronicles on Kindle.