Suspicion always haunts the guilty mind — William Shakespeare

Sarah Huckabee Sanders puffed out her chest and said, “Look, if you want to blame anybody, blame the Obama administration.” Sarah Huckabee Sanders wants us to believe that Obama helped Putin get Trump elected. They whose guilt within their bosom lies, imagine every eye beholds their blame.

Jared Kushner took meetings in the White House that resulted in him being loaned millions of dollars. There is gold for you. Sell me your good report.

Trump did a reality TV round table meeting with members of congress. Fake news was invited to televise it. The name of the episode was, “Gun Control at the It’s OK Corral.” After the cameras started rolling he said he wasn’t in to popularity. Shakespeare is more popular than Trump.

“Take the guns first and then do due process second. I had lunch with the NRA — they’re very fine people. They have more power over you than me. Some of you people are petrified of the NRA. You can’t be petrified. They want to do what’s right.” When valour preys on reason, it eats the sword it fights with.

“I like taking the guns early” said the President of the United States. The REPUBLICAN President of the United States. No president has ever said this. Time will tell how Sarah Huckabee Sanders will try and spin this. God has given you one face, and you give yourself another.

An armed teacher at Dalton High School in Georgia barricaded himself in his classroom and pulled the trigger when the principal tried to open the door. O villain, villain, smiling, damned villain!

Students from Marjory Stoneman Douglas returned to school yesterday. Grief fills the room up of my absent child, lies in his bed, walks up and down with me, puts on his pretty look, repeats his words, remembers me of his gracious parts, stuffs out his vacant garments with his form.

Republican hypocrite fun fact: Senator Marco Rubio of Florida called the kids of Marjory Stoneman Douglas and their generation “arrogant” because they won’t accept his thoughts, prayers, and quotes of scripture. Though this be madness, yet there is method in’t.

Trump said that Jeff Sessions’s handling of surveillance abuse accusations was disgraceful. The little imp defended himself by proclaiming that he would “continue to discharge my duties with integrity and honor.” Then he invited Deputy Attorney General Rod Rosenstein and Solicitor General Noel Francisco to dinner at Central Michel Richard, across the street from Trump’s hotel and several blocks down Pennsylvania Avenue from the White House. The press was tipped off so they could show up and take lots of pictures. The croaking raven doth bellow for revenge.

Trump bragged and Russian bots retweeted: The Heritage Foundation has just stated that 64% of the Trump Agenda is already done, faster than even Ronald Reagan. “We’re blown away,” said Thomas Binion of Heritage, President Trump “is very active, very conservative and very effective. Huge volume & spectrum of issues. I confess, it is my nature’s plague. To spy into abuses, and oft my jealousy.

The Russians tampered with 7 state elections but the secretaries of states couldn’t be notified because they didn’t have security clearances. Let every eye negotiate for itself and trust no agent.

White House Communications Director, Hope Hicks, quit the day after being interrogated by the House Intelligence Committee for 9 hours. She says she wants to spend more time with her family. She’s 29 and single. She has only been there for 6 months. Hope is the 5th communications director in a little over a year. Should I lie, madam?

The mayor of Oakland, California tipped off the immigrants in her community that ICE was on its way, saving 800 people from being rounded up and possibly deported. What a piece of work is a man.

A gun worshipping religious cult held a commitment ceremony in a church in Newfoundland, Pennsylvania where everybody showed up with their AR-15s wearing crowns made of bullets. The women wore white and the men wore black. The group believes that the AR-15 symbolizes the “rod of iron” in the book of Revelation. They scared the shit of out entire community. A nearby elementary school had to be relocated to another campus. The cops couldn’t do anything because they weren’t breaking any laws. The fool doth think he is wise, but the wise man knows himself to be a fool.

What a terrible era in which idiots govern the blind — William Shakespeare

Daily Crime Report - recounts of Trump and the Republicans’ daily disasters, with puns. Read them all in quarterly reports in The Treason Chronicles on Kindle.