Sharpiegate
Trump blew warm moist air out his ass and then cold air in the Oval Office, pretending to be a meteorologist. He’s been saying that Hurricane Dorian was headed for Alabama on Twitter for days and he could prove it. Just look at this weather map with the hand drawn loop over Alabama. He actually took a Sharpie to the National Hurricane Center map just so he wouldn’t have to admit he was wrong. That’s illegal. It’s a violation of federal law. You can’t falsify a National Weather Service forecast and pass it off as official (18 U.S. Code § 2074.) Not only that, it’s INSANE and DANGEROUS. People’s lives depend on accurate information!
Sharpiegate was reported widely. Social media blew up with many an altered photo such as hand drawn stick figures at Trump’s inauguration, abs on Trump’s fat gut, longer fingers on Trump’s hands, a wall across the border (“Paid for by Mexico”,) altered numbers on election poll graphics, and many more.
Didn’t matter. Trump drilled down on Alabama like Jack Nicholson drilled down on Nurse Ratched in One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest. He tweeted the next day: Alabama was going to be hit or grazed, and then Hurricane Dorian took a different path (up along the East Coast). The Fake News knows this very well. That’s why they’re the Fake News!
“We’re getting ready for Hurricane Dorian out here in California … There’s no tellin’ where Trump is gonna send it next.” — Michael Coates
Mr. Sharpie says the stock market is doing great!
Mr. Sharpie says Trump never met Jeffrey Epstein. Look! Epstein’s face has been scribbled out of that picture!
In other Republicans-are-fucking-nuts news:
Devin Nunes’ campaign dropped a lawsuit against constituents who claimed he was a fake farmer and a judge said he wants the real name of the fake cow that Nunes is suing before he can proceed. Devin Nunes filed a $9.9 million racketeering lawsuit against Fusion GPS, claiming that they retaliated against him for investigating the Steele dossier. He’s gonna get GPS. Get me my Sharpie!
Racist Iowa congressman, Steve King, says that he drank from the toilet fountain hybrid at one of Trump’s detention camps to prove that the detainees had nothing to complain about. Sharpie!
The Pentagon is moving $3.6 billion in military funding for Trump’s stupid fucking wall. Six Republican senators who kissed up to Trump and voted for it are getting screwed now because their states are losing money so Trump can build his stupid fucking wall. They are: Martha McSally of Arizona (who lost the election only to be handed the seat by the governor after John McCain died — $30 million), Thom Tillis of North Carolina ($80 million), Mitch McConnell of Kentucky ($62 million), John Cornyn of Texas ($48 million), Lindsey Graham of South Carolina ($11 million) and Cory Gardner of Colorado ($8 million). All of these kiss ass Trump supporters are up for re-election in 2020 and they’ll win if people are too lazy to vote or if Republicans take Sharpies into the polling booth.
House Judiciary Chair Jerry Nadler announced that his Committee has served a subpoena on the Department of Homeland Security for documents relating to Trump’s sycophants he promised pardons to. Trump is looking for his Sharpie. Where’s his Sharpie? WHERE’S HIS SHARPIE?
Agolf Twitler ain’t the sharpiest tool in the shed. We shouldn’t laugh because the man really is a cuckoo bird. But if we don’t laugh, we’ll just cry.
Can we Sharpie out the calendar from Nov 8, 2016 until now? Help! HELP!!!!
For a copy of the Mueller Report, click here.
For a list of attorneys giving legal analysis about the imploding Trump presidency on Twitter, click here.
For the best journalists to follow on Twitter, click here.
For straight news, check out these reliable sources on Twitter.
The Daily Crime Reports are being published as “quarterly reports” (three month groups) as part of “The Treason Chronicles” on Amazon for Kindle. To purchase one or more quarters, click here.Trump is re-tweeting Clinton killed Epstein conspiracy theories.
