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Shit is Getting Real

4 min readAug 25, 2025
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The FBI raided Trump’s former National Security Advisor, John Bolton’s home after he criticized Trump’s performance in Alaska with Putin. Trump is still mad about the book Bolton wrote about him right after he left the White House in 2020. It was called, “The Room Where it Happened: A White House Memoir” and it didn’t flatter Trump one bit. He’s been holding this grudge for years so he sicced the FBI on him, reigniting an investigation into classified documents that Biden’s Justice Department ended.

Trump told voters on the campaign trail that he would use the Justice Department to go after his enemies. On December 7, 2023 he admitted that when he won he’d rule like a dictator and that he would use the government to target his political foes. Six months later he announced a list of 27 political enemies he said he was going to put in jail when he became president again. They included Hillary Clinton, Barack Obama, Joe Biden, Adam Schiff, Andrew Cuomo, Robert Mueller, James Clapper, James Comey, and John Bolton.

Chris Christie is next. Trump is going to re-open Bridgegate from 2013 where Christie started his own political scandal wherein he closed a bridge in New Jersey to inconvenience his own political foes. That case got dropped but Trump is picking it back up again.

Trump has threatened Colorado with harsh measures if they don’t release Tina Peters, the County Clerk who is sitting in jail right now for helping Trump cheat in 2020.

Trump doesn’t stand up as much anymore and he covers bruises on his hand with makeup. They’re track marks for an IV. For what? Nobody knows for sure but experts say it’s congestive heart failure. So he sits a lot. He was sitting at the Resolute Desk, wearing a new red hat that read, “Trump was right about everything” when he said he had the power to remove the Mayor of Washington DC and take over. He looked like such a fool in that stupid hat with the makeup on the hand, sitting at that big desk that he never opens, with his bullshit voice, but he’s serious. The Mad King wants to rule DC.

A federal judge has ordered the closure of Alligator Alcatraz within 60 days.

Kilmar Abrego Garcia is back in ICE custody. They grabbed him when he showed up for an immigration appointment. They arrested him and want to send him to Uganda.

The Trump administration is asking hospitals for the medical records of trans youth.

There is a “whites only” community growing in the Ozarks of Arkansas. To join, you not only have to look white, but you have to answer questions about your heritage. You will have to be white enough. They can do this because their group meets the exemption requirements for private associations and religious groups.

There are 3,000 certified teachers in the state of Oklahoma who refuse to teach because the education system is so bad there.

Schools in Florida have banned, “The Diary of Anne Frank.”

Trump is painting the existing walls down at the border black so they will be too hot to climb during the day.

Trump is planning to mobilize up to 1,700 National Guard troops across 19 states in the coming weeks, citing crackdowns on immigration and crime. He’s testing the system to see how far he can go. He wants to get us used to lawmen in the streets for when he declares Martial Law and stays in power indefinitely.

Trump is going after NBC and ABC now. He said they are “two of the worst and most biased networks in history” and wants the FCC to revoke their licenses to their television stations.

Trump is trying to extort $1 billion from UCLA for “anti-Semitism.”

Trump says he is going to go on patrol with the National Guard and the DC Metro Police. They’re going to walk the streets of DC. He’s not going to do that. He’s too scared. Even though he knows there isn’t any action. He’s afraid someone will be mean to him and say something that will hurt his feeling.

8 out of the 10 states with the highest murder rates in 2020 voted for Trump. The murder rate went up 40% in red states in 2020. Trump’s plan is to send the National Guard to blue states for purely political reasons. This has nothing to with crime.

The new congressional district map for Texas nullified 5 Democratic seats including Jasmine Crockett’s seat. Now she has to run in a different district. The California legislature passed their new maps change. Now the voters have to vote for it. Once they do, California will have more Democratic seats and thus will be able to take control of the House where Democrats can stop some bleeding.

Gavin Newsom had a successful takedown of Trump holding up a mirror to him for a week. MAGA is mad. They don’t get it.

Gavin Newsom’s hair is not only gorgeous, it’s REAL.

Get a copy of the newly released book, “Trumped Up: Trump’s First Term and the Beginning of America’s End” by Spike Dolomite on Amazon! The book is taken from the Daily Crime Report from the first four years of Trump’s demise on America. Click here to order.

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Spike Dolomite
Spike Dolomite

Written by Spike Dolomite

Daily Crime Report - recounts of Trump and the Republicans’ daily disasters, with puns.

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