Sinematic

Spike Dolomite
5 min readOct 27, 2021

In honor of “Bring Your Pre-teen to Work Day” in the Senate, Kyrsten Sinema showed up and got to sit up at the dais and pretend like she was running a meeting. She wore a denim vest and flipped her hair and looked at her phone as is the fashion of all teens these days. The last time anyone wore denim in that chair was when domestic terrorists took possession of it.

“Next week she’ll wear Howard Stern’s Fartman costume to preside over the Senate. Just you wait.” — Walter Shaub

Who is Kyrsten Sinema? She’s the girl in the US Senate who wants to be known for her fashion sense, both in her non-conventional clothes, wigs, shoes and accessories such as her “fuck off” ring, but in her rebellious, non-conformist image. She fashions herself to be the reincarnation of the late great maverick from Arizona, John McCain, the yin to his yang, only when John McCain bucked his party he did it for the good of the country. Sinema, on the other hand, bucks her party for reasons completely unknown to all, even to her self.

The media is focused on the Democratic Party being in disarray but in reality it’s just 2 Democrats in name only, Joe Manchin and Kyrsten Sinema. The Dems are miraculously united and could be making radical change if it weren’t for these two sell outs.

Kyrsten Sinema is 45 years old. She grew up poor and was making $32,000 a year before she got elected. Now she’s a millionaire with a very expensive wardrobe.

She ran for city council in Phoenix in 2001 and lost because she refused to accept campaign donations. She called it bribery to the Arizona republic. That was back in the day when she was a member of the Green Party, a leftist, capitalist bashing, anti-war radical working on Ralph Nader’s campaign, marching in the streets for immigrants and LGBTQ rights and writing op-eds about Ronald Reagan and George H. W. Bush being “the real Saddam and Osama lovers.” She got married and divorced in her early 20s but now identifies as “bi” (bi-sexual? bi-partisan? bi-polar?) After switching teams and becoming a Democrat so she could tone down her image and win elections, she went too far the other way in the Arizona state legislature and sold out as the only Democrat to sponsor a Republican bill to come down hard on immigrants after selling herself to the immigrant community as their progressive champion. She kissed a Republican and she liked it. In 2012 she ran for Congress and won, moving further to the right by kissing more Republicans. She voted with Trump 50% of the time. To run for Senate she had to kiss the creepiest Republicans of all but she did it. Those kisses paid off (as did the big political contributions she once snubbed.)

Since becoming a US senator 3 years ago, she has completely ignored her constituents (she’s never held a town hall as senator,) has turned her back on all of the volunteers who helped get her where she is now, and refuses to talk to the press. She became famous for sticking it to workers by voting “no” on a minimum wage bill dressed as school girl Britney Spears singing “Baby One More Time” giving a thumbs down with a curtsy just like the late great moderate, John McCain when he gave the thumbs down to killing Obamacare. She never explained her reasoning for that vote (or her outfit and dance.) Once against the corporatocracy (she voted against Trump’s tax bill) she now defends big corporations, takes money from them and is against them having to pay taxes. She is also against negotiating drug prices for Medicare. Why would a former social worker be against seniors paying less for life saving medications? Because she has received huge contributions from the pharmaceutical and health industries over the past 5 years. She’s gone from taking no contributions to taking them all. She raised $1.1 million during the third quarter of this year and 90% of it came from outside of Arizona. Big pharma loves her so much they gave her a 456% raise from the previous quarter.

Who is this mysterious woman? Is she so addicted to being in the minority that she went right just because her state is going left? Is she behaving this way because she gets to be the center of attention if she makes herself an honorary star of the minority party? Is that why she defends the filibuster? So the minority can be the majority at the same time? Is that what she means by being “bi?” Or does she have some serious personal issues around her own identity and sanity which is now a very serious problem for the entire country? She does not now, nor has she ever had an ideology or solid sense of self and she is, right now, the most powerful person in the Senate and nobody has any idea who she is or what she stands for.

The Arizona Democratic Party is PISSED. It voted (over 80%) to pass a resolution pledging a vote of no confidence in Kyrsten Sinema if she fails to vote to reform the filibuster or if she screws things up for Biden’s Build Back Better reconciliation bill. She is not only hurting Biden and his agenda with her never ending thirst for attention and controversy, but she’s hurting the Democratic Party over all. If she blows it for Biden and the Democrats, most people won’t blame her for it. They’ll blame the Democrats in general.

Kyrsten Sinema can’t get enough attention. But instead of focusing on what she’s wearing and how she performs for the cameras, the attention she should be focused on who owns her and why. She hasn’t held a single public event in 3 years. That needs more attention.

The Democrats have Nancy Pelosi, Kamala Harris, Elizabeth Warren, AOC, Val Demings, Karen Bass, Cori Bush, Amy Klobuchar, Pramila Jayapal, and MORE. The Republicans have Liz Cheney (who they have disowned,) Marjorie Taylor Greene, Lauren Boebert, Susan Collins and Kyrsten Sinema.

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Spike Dolomite

Daily Crime Report - recounts of Trump and the Republicans’ daily disasters, with puns. Read them all in quarterly reports in The Treason Chronicles on Kindle.