Smell My Butt

Spike Dolomite
4 min readJul 4, 2020

As expected, Trump’s campaign speech for a group of maskless white people under George Washington, Thomas Jefferson, Theodore Roosevelt, and Abraham Lincoln, was a racist, divisive, slurry, sweaty, subdued, dull, unrehearsed mess. “We are the people who dreamed a spectacular dream. It was called……..Las Vegas………Ulyssesius S Grant……..Totallyteriayism…….This left-wing cultural revolution is designed to overthrow the American Revolution. They are destroying our civilization. Protesters pushing for racial justice are engaged in a merciless campaign to wipe out our history……..Black Lives Matter wants to tear down statues of abolitionists………..Our children are taught in schools to hate their own country.” He exited the stage with “Keep on Rockin’ in a Free World” by Neil Young blasting which he had no right to do. It was a mayonnaise on white bread event with a heavy helping of COVID on the side. According to Fox, Trump was “rapturously received” by the butt scratching crowd.

“Trump just promised that no one will ever desecrate Mt. Rushmore, while standing in front of Mt. Rushmore.” — Tom Nichols

“Immediately after Trump’s Mt. Rushmore speech someone needs to ask him who is on Mt. Rushmore” — Brandy Jensen

Neil Young is pissed that Trump played 3 of his songs at his White Nationalist campaign rally at Mt. Rushmore. He wants to kick his butt. Neil said, “I stand in solidarity with the Lakota Sioux.”

Right before Trump’s disastrous speech, Lakota treaty defenders blocked access to the rally and informed rally goers that they were standing on stolen land. MAGAs told them to go home.

Junior’s girlfriend, Kimberly Guilfoyle, has the Trump Plague. The day before she tested positive, she attended an intimate, folksy indoor event with the governor of South Dakota, Kristi Noem, where she and Junior spoke to maskless MAGAs in a small space, exposing everybody there. If the governor becomes infected she’ll be eating some serious crow on stolen land with a Trump brand suppository stuck up her butt.

Lakota Sioux fun fact: On June 30, 1980, the US Supreme Court ruled that the government had illegally taken land in the Black Hills granted by the 1868 treaty but there has yet to be any restitution for it. Before the 4 faces of white men were carved into the mountain, it was known as Six Grandfathers. There were already faces there. Nature carved them.

Trump’s representative, Peter Navarro, told White House reporters that the Chinese Communist Party “spawned” the coronavirus. While they were hiding it they sent aircraft “with hundreds of thousands of Chinese citizens to effectively seed and spread” the coronavirus all over the world.

There have been 2,120 hate incidents recorded against Asian Americans since the coronavirus pandemic started.

Mexico has closed its border along Arizona because they don’t want us going into their country and spreading disease. Now Mexico may pay for that wall after all.

Republican congressman Andy Biggs from Arizona has called on the White House to dissolve its coronavirus task force so that people like Dr. Fauci will stop undermining Trump.

Conservative Republicans of Texas leader Steve Hotze left a voicemail for Texas Governor Greg Abbott asking him to order rioters be killed. “I want to make sure that he has National Guard down here and they have the order to shoot to kill if any of these son of a bitch people start rioting like they have in Dallas, start tearing down businesses — shoot to kill the son of a bitches. That’s the only way you restore order. Kill ’em. Thank you.”

Mississippi election commissioner, Gail Welch, posted on Facebook, “I’m concerned about voter registration in Mississippi. The blacks are having lots of events for voter registration. People in Mississippi have to get involved, too.” She’s been an election commissioner for 20 years.

I’m not racist, butt…….

Meanwhile, in nearby Flori-duh, an idiot in Pensacola protested wearing a mask by putting his underwear over his head and going on the local news to say that he truly believes that the country is at war right now and that “the shenanigans of people wearing masks not knowing the scientific evidence behind it” obligates him to put his underwear on his head giving him butt breath.

Broadway actor, Nick Cordero, has been hospitalized for 3 months with the coronavirus. He’s lost a leg and needs a double lung transplant but by all means, keep refusing to wear a mask to own the libs, show your loyalty to Trump, or smell your own butt.

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Spike Dolomite

Daily Crime Report - recounts of Trump and the Republicans’ daily disasters, with puns. Read them all in quarterly reports in The Treason Chronicles on Kindle.