Somethin’ Stupid

Spike Dolomite
3 min readApr 2, 2024

Republican James Comer is denying reports that he is in talks about a potential book deal while he leads the Biden presidential impeachment probe. The title of the book that he is denying that he is writing is called, “All the President’s Money.”

The Florida Supreme Court ruled that the legalization of marijuana and adding the right to abortion to the state constitution can stay on the November ballot which is really bad news to the uptight religious misogynist Republicans. Now the liberals will for sure show up to vote and then they’ll have to helplessly sit by and watch them OD on pot and go crazy having sex with anybody and everybody at weed orgies then line up to get abortions on every street corner.

The judge presiding over Trump’s NY criminal trial expanded the gag order to prohibit him from going after the “family members of any counsel, staff member, the Court or the District Attorney.” Trump violated the expanded gag order immediately thereafter. He has repeatedly threatened 4 of the judges overseeing Trump’s cases without consequence. They all get death threats. The only judge Trump hasn’t attacked is his buddy, MAGA Judge Aileen Cannon who is overseeing his espionage case for which there is still no trial date.

Trump keeps whining about how unfairly he’s being treated when in reality he’s getting special treatment from everybody. There is American justice, rich people justice, and Trump justice. He really could shoot somebody on 5th Avenue, on live TV, in front of the cops and Clarence Thomas, and get away with it.

Speaking of special treatment, Trump posted the reduced $175 million bond so he can proceed with his appeal so the state of New York can’t seize his property for the time being. Where did he get that kind of money? He doesn’t have that kind of money so he had to rely on the kindness of one of his billionaire fans, Don Hankey. Hankey owns the company, Knight Specialty Insurance Co, that underwrote the bond. They call him the “king of subprime car loans.” He is also one of the largest shareholders in Axos bank which loaned Trump $100 million to refinance Trump Tower and $125 million for Doral.

7 House Republicans have filed a bill to rename DC’s Dulles Airport to Donald J. Trump International Airport.

A guy crashed his car into the gates of the FBI in Atlanta. He was immediately arrested and an FBI case was opened. One quick glance at his search history will tell them where he got such a stupid idea.

Trump meandered around Mar-a-Lago on Easter with Melania and Barron who kept a safe distance away from him so that he could post video of himself with his family on a holy holiday. Never mind that nobody has seen Melania and Barron in a couple of years and were assumed to have fled the country. A week earlier he presented himself with a couple of awards — club champion and senior club champion. He gave an award to Jack Nicklaus too so he wouldn’t look so stupid.



Spike Dolomite

Daily Crime Report - recounts of Trump and the Republicans’ daily disasters, with puns. Read them all in quarterly reports in The Treason Chronicles on Kindle.