Speaker McCarthy

Spike Dolomite
6 min readJan 9, 2023

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After 4 days and 15 votes, Kevin McCarthy was finally elected the weakest, most compromised Speaker in history, laying limply at the high heels of the greatest Speaker ever, Nancy Pelosi, on the 2 year anniversary of Trump’s coup attempt. The 20 members of the Freedom Caucus who had been voting against McCarthy finally won. McCarthy conceded to all of their demands. Now Trump is Speaker and he only got one vote. The insurrectionists who worked with him to attempt a coup are now in charge of the House. He will speak through them.

It’s no coincidence that all of this happened on the 2 year anniversary of the attack on the Capitol. After the rioters had all left without being arrested, the joint session of Congress resumed at about 8:00 p.m. to certify the election. They continued on until about 3:00 a.m. Two years later, on the fourth day of voting, the House adjourned until 10 p.m. and then came back to make their final and fifteenth vote for Speaker. Members were sworn in after midnight.

Two years ago members had to stay late because Republicans wanted to overthrow the results of a free and fair election. This time, they had to stay late because Republicans are utterly incapable of governing.

Ralph Norman said that all of this coming together on January 6 was “huge.”

Two years ago, Trump intended for his mob to storm the Capitol. He knew they were armed. He knew there would be violence. He watched the riot unfold for hours without lifting a finger. He egged them on. He showed no remorse. He knew what he was doing. He should be in jail and so should all of the members in the Freedom Caucus who helped him do it. They’re not only not in jail, they’re more powerful with Kevin McCarthy as Speaker.

The insurrectionists are running the House of Representatives. Trump won again.

Trump coup accomplices Jim Jordan and Scott Perry are way more powerful now so expect the worst. Terrorists will be in charge of committees and they are hyper focused on destroying the government from within.

Kevin McCarthy didn’t win much. He gave away the job in order to get the job by negotiating with terrorists. The gavel is more like a participation trophy. They’re expected to vote on rules today. Time will tell if they can even do that. The Republicans may embarrass the country again today.

Matt Gaetz, the guy who once sought a pardon from Trump, held the fate of the entire US House of Representatives in his hands for days. He was the final holdout, the only one of them to nominate and vote for Trump as Speaker. Things got so heated on the House floor that one member, Richard Hudson, dragged another member, Mike Rogers, off of the floor with his hand over his mouth to keep him from punching Gaetz in the head. Trump was calling members on the House floor and telling them what to do. He called Marjorie Taylor Greene. A photographer snapped a great shot of her trying to hand her phone to Matt Rosendale who just waved her off. Republicans made fools of themselves in front of the whole world.

Before McCarthy “won,” Matt Gaetz was out there saying he would resign if McCarthy won. Now he’s out there saying everything is cool. He forgives Mike Rogers for getting in his face. What did McCarthy promise Matt Gaetz?

“So all it took for Kevin McCarthy to become Speaker was to concede massive power to the people who tried to overthrow the US government on the fucking anniversary of the day it happened.” — Mikel Jollett

A couple of days before McCarthy got his dream job, two of his constituents, white supremacists in Bakersfield, California, were caught on surveillance video committing arson at an Immigration Services office. They were so stupid they got gas all over themselves before striking the match. A perfect metaphor for the next two years — lighting one’s self on fire while trying to burn it all down.

On the night of the attack two years ago Kevin McCarthy said, “The Capitol was in chaos, police officers attacked, guns drawn on this very floor…we should stand united in condemning the mob together.” He wanted Trump to resign. He also said, “Mobs don’t rule America…Let’s show the country the mob did not win.”

The mob won when McCarthy “won.”

A week after MAGAs attacked the Capitol, Kevin McCarthy made a speech on the House floor. “The President bears responsibility for Wednesday’s attack on Congress by mob rioters…..The violence, destruction, and chaos we saw earlier was unacceptable, un-democratic, and un-American. It was the saddest day I’ve ever had as serving as a member of this institution…We saw the worst of America this afternoon…What we’re currently watching unfold is un-American…This is not the First Amendment. This has to stop and this has to stop now……. He should have immediately denounced the mob when he saw what was unfolding. These facts require immediate action by President Trump…….The violent mob that descended upon this body was neither peaceful nor democratic…Those who are responsible for Wednesday’s chaos will be brought to justice…….These facts require immediate actions by President Trump. Accept his share of responsibility. Quell the brewing unrest. And ensure President-Elect Biden is able to successfully begin his term……When I spoke to President Trump on Wednesday, I told him he had a great responsibility to intervene to quell the mob and start the healing process for our country.”

The mob won. Kevin went to Mar-a-Lago 22 days after the insurrection to kiss up to Trump.

Two years later, while kissing up to Trump to get him to get people to turn their votes to him, he told the press, “Trump has already reiterated his support. I talked to him tonight.” After he “won” he told the press, “I do want to especially thank President Trump. I don’t think anyone should doubt his influence. He was with me from the beginning. He was all in. What he’s really saying for the party and the country is we have to come together.”

Speaker McCarthy praised Trump in the halls of Congress on the very anniversary of Trump’s attempted coup.

“Just say the election was corrupt and leave the rest to me and the Republican congressmen.” — Donald Trump to the Acting Attorney General and Acting Deputy Attorny General on December 27, 2020

“The worst speaker elected by the worst people in the worst possible way.” — David Rothkopf

The same coup attempt happened in Brazil yesterday. Insurrectionists attacked the Capitol of Brazil after President Lula was sworn in. As with Trump, the outgoing president, fascist Jair Bolsonaro lost so his supporters went nuts and destroyed the Capitol, the Supreme Court, the presidential palace and offices. They re-enacted Trump’s insurrection and used his playbook. They even had their own QAnon shaman. Instead of red hats, they wore green and yellow. The big difference is that the Brazilian rioters didn’t get to go home after they tried to overtake the government. They got arrested. Like Trump, Jair Bolsonaro is buddies with Putin. Like Trump, Jair Bolsonaro resides in Florida. Yes, immigrant Jair Bolsonaro has sought sanctuary in Orlando. He can’t be extradited without Florida Governor Ron DeSantis authorizing it and he’s a member of the Freedom Caucus.

The Republicans barely mentioned the anniversary of the attack on the Capitol on January 6. Only one attended a ceremony on the Capitol steps. The rest were Democrats.

The insurrectionists finally made it all the way into the House chamber, thanks to Speaker McCarthy.

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Spike Dolomite
Spike Dolomite

Written by Spike Dolomite

Daily Crime Report - recounts of Trump and the Republicans’ daily disasters, with puns. Read them all in quarterly reports in The Treason Chronicles on Kindle.

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