Stage Combat
After the reality TV president made his reality TV entrance backed by rapture effect lighting to create a false sense of greatness that could be used later on in a campaign video, the scene fell flat. The over produced scene took hours to write, 30 minutes to light (waiting for the sunbeams to hit the door at the exact right time so Trump could walk on stage like Jesus) and ended up looking like a bad 80s music video. Only the 1 out 3 people surveyed who say they feel safer now that Trump almost started WWIII saw Trump as the Chosen One. Everybody else saw a bad actor. The shoot took 8 minutes and cost a lot.
After the shoot wrapped, Trump sent members of his production team over to Congress to sell them on the “Trump got the Bad Guy” episode after it was shot and aired. Only the die hard Trumpers said they liked the pitch. Everybody else wanted to boo. There was no evidence of imminent danger. They were told that they couldn’t debate what was already done. Don’t question or disagree with the star, director and producer of the show. Just read your lines and don’t ruin the scene.
Republican Senator Mike Lee from Utah was so pissed he marched right off the set and told the press exactly what he thought of the whole show. He went off script ON CAMERA. Trump saw it and thought, “You’ll never work in this town again!”
Libertarian Rand Paul went on liberal MSNBC to say that Pompeo and Trump failed and have created a “catastrophe and a mess.” Trump saw it and thought, “You’ll never work in this town again!”
Lindsey Graham went on Fox and said that Trump’s speech will be remembered long after his second term. It was that good. It was so good it was as good as Reagan’s Tear Down This Wall speech. Give that reality TV star president an Emmy! Trump saw it and thought, “Stick with me, kid — I’ll make you a star.”
Fire and Brimstone Pulpit Pounding Republican Doug Collins went on Lou Dobbs’ show and said, “Democrats are in love with terrorists, we see that they mourn Soleimani more than they mourn our gold star families.” Trump saw it and thought, “I’d like to audition him for a new role in an upcoming reality TV president episode, “A Vote Against Trump is a Vote for Hell.”
The Republican line for today is Democrats are terrorist lovers.
“And yet there are still some idiots standing over the smashed hornets’ nest, sneering that everyone who’s complaining must love the hornets.” — Kevin M. Kruse
Everybody who tuned in to watch “The Chosen Won” yesterday wondered if Trump was on drugs because of all of the sniffing. The MAGAs who watched really do believe he is the chosen one so now they’re going around sniffing too because they want to be just like the Chosen One. Chosen people sniff. If a MAGA can’t get in to a bar wearing his red hat because of a sign posted out front that reads, “NO SHIRT, NO MAGA HATS, NO SERVICE,” it’s OK because once inside they can sniff each other out and find their klan.
“You know we’re fucked when the post-speech convo is ‘I think the president is hitting the Booger Sugar too hard.’/ ‘Don’t worry it’s probably not cocaine. He’s just addicted to Adderall.’” — Bryan Behar
Mike Pence is out there on TV telling people that Iran did too intend to kill us but we’re too tough and smart to be killed by them. Also, trust Trump and don’t ask any questions. His scheduled staged speech for Monday night about Iran policy has been cancelled. Too bad because he’s really rehearsed that one, right down to the sympathetic, sincere head tilt and the soft, beady eye. I see led people.
Fox News talking head Sarah Huckabee Sanders shared her war powers expertise with their dumb dumb audience: “I can’t think of anything dumber than allowing Congress to take over our foreign policy. The last thing we want to do is push powers into Congress’ hands and take them away from the president.”
Um, Congress has the power to declare war, not the president. That’s in the constitution. Don’t make a scene, Sarah. America would really like to forget all about you. You were never right for the part. Go home. Leave show business.
The House is voting on limiting Trump’s powers this morning. Here’s what Trump had to stay about that (in a tweet, of course): Hope that all House Republicans will vote against Crazy Nancy Pelosi’s War Powers Resolution. Also, remember her “speed & rush” in getting the Impeachment Hoax voted on & done. Well, she never sent the Articles to the Senate. Just another Democrat fraud. Presidential Harassment!
Trump is back to compulsively rage tweeting. He’s back to obsessing over ratings, Obama, Hillary, the impeachment hoax, and anybody that doesn’t like him.
Iran is in the can.
Aaaaaaaand scene!
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