Stain of Impeachment

Spike Dolomite
3 min readOct 7, 2019

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Trump is worried that his legacy will be stained by impeachment. His legacy? HIS LEGACY? Ha ha ha ha ha!

Could he be sending a signal that he’s planning on going out a martyr by resigning? Poor me. The Democrats are out to get me. I can’t take the pressure anymore. Who needs this shit? Or how about the age old, “I want to spend more time with my family?” Ha ha ha ha ha! Which one?

Trump is going to get more people killed. He’s pulling out of northern Syria and authorizing Turkey to invade which will result in our allies, the Kurds, getting slaughtered. The Kurds have already lost 10,000 men and women to battle ISIS for the world. Trump doesn’t give a shit. He has Trump Towers in Istanbul plus he launched his furniture collection in Turkey and had a showroom there as well. What does he care?

“Waiting for the hot take that says Trump is distracting from impeachment by inviting a genocide against the Kurds. He’s not. This is just what happens when your serial criminal president is also a traitor, serves Russian interests, doesn’t understand foreign policy and is immoral.” — David Rothkopf

Getting out of Syria is a gift to Putin. It’s his birthday today.

Lindsey Graham, who usually defends Trump on everything, is not kissing Trump’s ass first and asking questions later this morning. He called in to Fox and Friends to say that pulling out of Syria is a bad idea. He did this because he knew Trump was sitting in his shit stained underwear, watching TV.

Remember when Trump claimed that Obama created ISIS and bragged that he could defeat them in 30 days? Now he’s about to set thousands of captured ISIS prisoners loose.

Looks like Rick Perry isn’t the Ukraine bumbling blind fall guy after all. He knew that Rudy and some of this friends were looking to profit monetarily from Ukraine’s state run natural gas company. He could be guilty of getting in on that action himself. The US energy secretary could be guilty of extortion, too.

Deep state conspiracy theorist and chair of the Senate Homeland Security and Governmental Affairs Committee, Ron Johnson, went on Meet the Press and lost his shit over the deep state. He said he doesn’t believe the FBI or the CIA. He sweated like a guilty, greasy, Russian pig.

Trump just learned he lost his court fight to keep his tax records secret from New York and that he’s not immune from criminal investigations,. He’s shitting his pants. This day is going to be a bad day. He could bomb California.

The new White House press secretary, Stephanie Grisham, has been on the job for 98 days and has yet to hold a single press briefing. The US is about to pull out of Syria and she won’t be taking any questions from the press.

Some of Donald Trump’s own former national security officials, along with former CIA director John Brennan and former Director of National Intelligence James Clapper, signed an open letter saying the Ukraine whistleblower did nothing wrong and deserves protection.

Former Secretary of State, Colin Powell, an old fashioned Republican, told his party they needed to get a grip and called them out for being chicken shits. He reiterated, “the Constitution started with ‘We the People,’ not ‘Me the President’.”

The Republicans could happen along Trump shooting people on 5th Avenue and they wouldn’t call 911.

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Spike Dolomite
Spike Dolomite

Written by Spike Dolomite

Daily Crime Report - recounts of Trump and the Republicans’ daily disasters, with puns.

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