State of the Union

Spike Dolomite
4 min readFeb 6, 2019

“The president’s speech last night was a greatest hits compilation of a performer without a hit to his name. Just repurposed, rehashed, warmed over, lies from stump speeches that have led to Trump’s plummeting popularity and his party’s imminent political collapse.” — David Rothkopf

Ricky Perry was the designated survivor in case illegal immigrants climbed the wall at the capitol during the State of the Union address and kidnapped the President, Vice President and Speaker of the House.

Trump didn’t wait for the Speaker of the House to introduce him. He started without her.

Trump got what he wanted last night — an audience, vindication and validation from the Congress and the press. They all had to sit there and listen to him, and then they had to talk about him afterwards and write about him. He had them. Yes, as a matter of fact, I am the king.

He called for unity and bipartisanship hours before he called Joe Biden “dumb” and Chuck Schumer a “nasty son of a bitch” during lunch.

His speech was a SOTU speech in a can and totally irrelevant. He didn’t mention the government shutdown, the deficit (Mitch Mulvaney said nobody cares about that,) or mass shootings, and said that his agenda is not Republican or Democrat, but the agenda of the American people. It was a real snoozer.

Speaking of snoozer, the kid named Trump who gets picked on by the kids at school because of his last name fell asleep during the speech. Now the poor kid is going to get teased for sleeping through the SOTU.

“The state of our union is strong!” Trump proclaimed. Nancy Pelosi shook her head. The Republicans chanted, “USA! USA! USA!”

He bragged about job growth and then said illegal immigrants are taking our jobs and driving down wages.

He said that we have to end the Russia investigation because it’ll interfere with America’s economic growth. The Republicans clapped.

He said 5 million people have been “lifted off” food stamps. Or did he say “kicked off” food stamps? Republicans cheered.

Nancy Pelosi sat behind him wearing a blue necklace with two red balls dangling in the center.

The contrast between the two parties sitting in the chambers was the starkest its ever been. Grumpy old white men on one side, and lots of colors and lots of women wearing suffragist white on the other side.

“Weird to see half the chamber all white, and then the Democrats on the other side. “ — Kevin M. Kruse

Racist congressman from Iowa, Steve King, invited Diamond and Silk to the SOTU (he borrowed Trump’s blacks for the night.)

Republican hypocrite fun fact: Conservative columnist, Peggy Noonan, criticized Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez for not being “spirited and warm.” Did she comment on all of the grumpy old men who sat stone faced through all of Obama’s SOTU speeches and say, “They need to smile more?”

Black history month: When the first black president gave a SOTU speech, white congressman Joe Wilson yelled out “YOU LIE!” without consequence. He’s still a congressman. His constituents in S. Carolina must agree with him. They have been re-electing him for 16 years.

In President Franklin D. Roosevelt’s State of the Union address in 1935, he called for legislation to provide assistance for the jobless, the elderly, impoverished children and the handicapped. Republicans hated his guts. In his 1941 State of the Union address, he called for Four Freedoms (the freedom of speech and expression, the freedom to worship God in his own way, freedom from want and freedom from fear) and warned the country about fascism.

78 years later and we’ve got a Russia owned wanna be fascist in the White House who regards the SOTU as a MAGA rally for reality TV.

Meanwhile, the Southern District of New York has subpoenaed Trump’s inauguration committee, Trump and Jared met with contractors at the White House to discuss plans for building the border wall, and 284 internal documents (some between Felix Sater and Michael Cohen) were published that show how secret negotiations for Trump Tower Moscow unfolded while Trump was on the campaign trail and praising Putin at televised MAGA rallies. The documents show a planned collusion showing Michael Cohen and Felix Sater who both believed they needed Putin’s support to pull off the Trump Tower deal, and they planned on using Trump’s public praise for him to help secure it.

How is the state of the union? We’re dangling by a thread, like Trump’s balls on Nancy’s necklace.

Support the Daily Crime Report on Patreon!

The Daily Crime Reports are being published as “quarterly reports” (three month groups) as part of “The Treason Chronicles” on Amazon for Kindle. To purchase one or more quarters, click here.

--

--

Spike Dolomite

Daily Crime Report - recounts of Trump and the Republicans’ daily disasters, with puns. Read them all in quarterly reports in The Treason Chronicles on Kindle.