Stop Go

Spike Dolomite
4 min readSep 22, 2018

MAGAs are so dumb that they’re still chanting, “Lock her up!” at campaign rallies 2 years after the election. They don’t know, believe or care that Trump’s campaign manager, deputy campaign manager, lawyer and national security adviser have all pleaded guilty and are cooperating with the Mueller investigation. You’ve got to be an award winning dummy, high ranking racist, or an anemic fragile self-hating woman to be in Trump’s camp at this point. MAGAs are dumber than a stop sign.

Trump made it a whole week without opening his big fat mouth and making Dr. Blasey Ford’s problems worse. He took to Twitter to say, “The radical left lawyers want the FBI to get involved NOW. Why didn’t someone call the FBI 36 years ago?” He can’t stop himself.

Ronald Reagan’s daughter, Patti Davis, wrote an op-ed to explain why women wait 36 years or never to talk about being sexually assaulted. It happened to her.

One in four women have been raped. They started crying on Monday when Dr. Blasey Ford was outed and they can’t stop.

Old man Chuck Grassley gave Dr. Blasey Ford until 10 pm last night to accept their latest offer. Her attorney responded by saying that she’s a little busy right now dealing with the FBI and death threats. Could she have another day?

No go! HOW DARE SHE!

Grassley apologized to Kavanaugh for the inconvenience in a tweet. He’s so old he thinks Twitter is Western Union. He doesn’t know that we can all read his tweets. Stop.

Wait a minute. Kavanaugh is a judge, Judges are supposed to hear all sides of a story to get to the truth. Not this time. Laws are meant for everybody but white male Republicans. Here we go again.

Brett Kavanuagh is the most unlikable supreme court nominee in the history of the country but hell no we won’t go!!!!!! He and the Republicans want that seat. They have big plans for it.

The police chief of Montgomery. Maryland, stands ready to investigate sexual allegations against Brett Kavanaugh if a complaint is filed. Go Dr. Blasey Ford, GO!

HUD Secretary Ben Carson says that the Kavanaugh sexual assault allegations are part of a centuries old socialist plot that began in England with something called the Fabian Society. So if you are raped and tell you are a socialist. Oh stop.

Remember in the 90s when Republicans were outraged that they had to explain a blow job to their kids?

“Presidential advisor Sean Hannity is playing ten thousand dimensional checkers with only three pieces of string, nine bags of bath salts, and a half eaten rotisserie chicken from Costco” — Molly Jong-Fast

A state representative in Minnesota, Republican Jim Knoblach, dropped his re-election bid after his grown daughter accused him of sexual abuse. He would crawl into bed with her, press up against her and kiss her neck, and stroke her, sometimes in front of her friends. It went on for over 10 years. One more Republican perv out of the race, hundreds more to go.

Arizona Republican Paul Gosar is so awful that his 6 siblings are trying to stop him by making a TV ad endorsing the Democrat running against him.

The New York Times isn’t fake and failing anymore! It broke a story that a year ago Rod Rosenstein said he wanted to wear a wire so he could tape Trump and take him down with the 25th amendment! Sources are anonymous. The main stream media went nuts! Extra! Extra! Breaking news! We’ve never heard of John Barron and we don’t know what sarcasm is! Trump needed a story so we would stop stop stop stop talking about Kavanaugh and Paul Manafort and he could set Rod up to go. You’re fired! Deep state!

Ted Cruz is such a race baiter that he used Twitter to make Beto look bad to his racist base. He posted a video of Beto talking to a crowd in a church, asking how an innocent unarmed black man can be murdered in his own home by the police. He got a standing ovation and Ted Cruz got a lot of comments on Twitter thanking him for endorsing Beto.

Boom. Full stop.

Beto and Cruz had a debate last night in Texas. Beto killed it and Cruz killed himself. Cruz concluded by calling Beto a socialist to which Beto replied, “True to form.” The Texas Resistance took note. “There might have been a secret message in the debate last night. If you rearrange the letters in ‘True To Form’ you get ‘Tofu Tremor.’ I’m not saying that Beto O’Rourke definitely said that knowing Ted’s fear of tofu… but we can’t rule it out.” Don’t stop, Texas Resistance.

After the debate Beto played air drums to the Who in his car and the crowd went crazy.

Go Beto, go!

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Spike Dolomite

Daily Crime Report - recounts of Trump and the Republicans’ daily disasters, with puns. Read them all in quarterly reports in The Treason Chronicles on Kindle.