Storm Drain

Spike Dolomite
4 min readMar 12, 2018

The President is conducting a “listening survey.” It’s on his official website. Here are some of the questions:

· Are you optimistic about the new direction of our economy?

· Do you feel safer from terrorist attacks under President Trump’s leadership?

· Do you believe schools should be hardened to protect our children?

· Do you believe tariffs should be imposed to protect American industry from foreign competitors that are ripping us off?

· Should merit based legal immigration be increased if unemployment continues to drop?

· Do you believe protecting the sanctity of life needs to be a bigger priority in 2018?

· Do you believe many universities indoctrinate rather than teach students?

· Do you trust the media?

· Do you feel that you cannot publicly admit that you support Trump?

· Do you think stopping taxpayer-funding of abortion remains a priority?

· Are you concerned by the potential spread of Sharia Law?

· English is currently not recognized as the official language of the United States. Do you think it should be?

Brain drain Steve Mnuchin went on Meet the Press the morning after Trump called Chuck Todd a son of a bitch on TV. He told Chuck not to pay too much attention to Trump’s vulgarities and attacks on the press because they are less important than policy. His insults were all in good fun and should be seen in the context of a “campaign rally.” When Chuck asked what this all means for our kids, Munchin said, “There were a lot of funny moments at the rally.” Chuck wasn’t amused. Nobody who was.

Trump’s lawyers are trying to stop 60 Minutes from airing a Stormy Daniels interview. Now everybody wants to watch.

Betsy DeVos fumbled her way through a 60 Minutes interview and had to admit that she’s never been to an under performing school. She said that studies show that when students are given choices to leave their home schools for other schools that their home schools do better. Um, no, draino. When a student leaves, they take a funding stream with them. She had to admit that she probably wouldn’t have this job if she wasn’t rich and didn’t give a ton of money to Republicans.

Republican hypocrite fun fact: When the Republicans tried to destroy Bill Clinton by getting involved in his sex life and setting him up to lie about it, Mitch McConnell took to the Senate floor and made a speech. He said, “He could do the right thing. Or he could cling to his Presidency — regardless of the costs and regardless of the consequences. Consequences to his family, to his friends, to his aides, to his Cabinet, and, most importantly, to his country…………..Time after time, the President came to a fork in the road. Time after time, he had the opportunity to choose the noble and honorable path. Time after time, he chose the path of lies and lawlessness — for the simple reason that he did not want to endanger his hold on public office……….Nowhere is the President’s cold, calculated choice more clear than in the private conversation he had with his confidant and long-time advisor, Dick Morris, just after he raised his right hand to God and testified under oath in a civil rights lawsuit that he had not had any sexual relations with a young intern named Monica Lewinsky………..After that critical denial, the President did what he does best: he put his finger to the wind to determine which path he should take. He asked Mr. Morris to conduct a poll to determine whether the American people would forgive him for adultery, for perjury, and for obstruction of justice. Morris came back with bad news………The public, in Morris’s words was `just not ready for it.’ They would forgive him for adultery, but not for perjury and obstruction of justice……….The President then faced a fundamental choice. He could tell the truth — and admit that he perjured himself in the Jones suit. Or he could cling to public office — and deny, delay and obstruct.The choice for President Clinton was clear. He told Morris: `Well, we just have to win.’ ………..And, thus the course was charted. The President would seek to win at any cost. If it meant lying to the American people. If it meant lying to his Cabinet. If it meant lying to a federal grand jury. If it meant tampering with witnesses and obstructing justice. If it meant falsely branding a young woman with the scarlet labels of liar and `stalker.’ The name of the game was winning. Winning at any cost.” Mitch McConnell hasn’t said a word about Trump and Stormy Daniels. The swamp will not be drained.

Stormy whether.

“Kim Jong-un is just using Trump to meet Stormy Daniels” — Andy Borowitz

“If Mueller doesn’t get him, Stormy Daniels will” — Maxine Waters

Circle the drain. There’s a storm comin’.



Spike Dolomite

Daily Crime Report - recounts of Trump and the Republicans’ daily disasters, with puns. Read them all in quarterly reports in The Treason Chronicles on Kindle.