The Republicans have backed off of legislating women’s sex lives and how many kids they can have because they’ve got a much juicier bone for the Christian Taliban and MAGAs to chew on — immigrant invasion! Caravans of murderers and rapists are coming! They keep coming and coming and the liberals just say, “Come on in!” Throwing dripping racist red meat out to their easily duped, paranoid base makes voters think and behave a certain way so they’ll vote against their own best interests. It’s what Republicans do. It’s the story of their lives.

Trump tweet: …..Honduras, Guatemala and El Salvador are doing nothing for the United States but taking our money. Word is that a new Caravan is forming in Honduras and they are doing nothing about it. We will be cutting off all aid to these 3 countries — taking advantage of U.S. for years!

If Trump thinks he can shut down the border to everybody if he doesn’t get his wall, why do we need a wall if he can just shut down the border?

This whole government shutdown, the wall, demonizing the media, the cry baby rage tweeting…’s just a game to Trump. He could care less about being president. He’s just stirring crap up to make everybody dizzy so we’ll keep talking about him. It’s the story of his life.

“Republicans called him a ‘businessman.’ He is in fact a failed reality TV star who bankrupted 6 companies and laundered money for the Russian mob. They put him in charge of the US economy. The stock market is about to have its worst December since 1931.” — Mikel Jollett

“The past years have demonstrated that you can live in a ‘free’ country but still be controlled by what amounts to state media. The government doesn’t have to order people to parrot its propaganda; many will do so willingly because they have chosen ignorance and are led by fear.” — George Takei

Fox News is slamming Nancy Pelosi for being on vacation in Hawaii for the holidays while the poor president is stuck in Washington DC.

Adult children are blocking Fox News on their elderly parents’ TVs for their own good.

Paul Ryan and Mitch McConnell joined Trump in making outrageous, outlandish and out right false claims to continually restate their alternative reality and that is that theirs was the most successful Congress ever and they accomplished stuff at a record pace. The truth is they got just about nothing done and will go down in history as being the worst Congress in history — the one that enabled a tyrant and let a hostile foreign enemy infiltrate our government. They’re finishing this term out with a government shut down and several investigations into the president and Republican members of Congress. Paul and Mitch failed the American test. Story of their lives.

Angelina Jolie is thinking about running for president. Story of her life.

30% of Americans don’t believe in the Holocaust. That’s about the same amount of people who believe in Trump. Invest in public education so 30% of the country won’t be dumb enough to vote for another Trump! Change the ending to the stories of these lives! Adopt an uneducated American today!

Trump has told 6,000 lies as president. That’s 3,000 a lies a year. Story of his life.

Republican hypocrite fun fact: More Republicans are privately saying that Trump is unfit to lead but none of them will do anything about it. Party before country. Story of their lives.

Tax payers have already paid $54,000 for tents for Trump’s New Year’s bash at Mar-a-Lago. Secret Service will be working for free. Don’t be surprised if Trump flies there for his party because he didn’t want to disappoint his guests (who all paid to be in his company which is a blatant violation of the emoluments clause in the Constitution that says presidents can’t profit off of the presidency.) There will be no consequences. The story of his life.

Where did Barron spend Christmas? Was he at the White House or did his parents dump him at Mar-a-Lago to spend the holiday with paid staff? Story of that poor kid’s life.

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Daily Crime Report - recounts of Trump and the Republicans’ daily disasters, with puns. Read them all in quarterly reports in The Treason Chronicles on Kindle.