Stupid is as Stupid Does

Trump spent the weekend impeaching himself both on camera and on Twitter. The man is totally bonkers. The most powerful man in the world is off his fucking rocker. The only people on the face of the earth not holding their breath right now are those lucky tribal peoples living deep within the dying, burning jungles who live blissfully off the grid and have no idea that they will soon be consumed by capitalism. Oh and MAGAs. They’re not holding their breath, either. They’re so stupid they’d jump right into a doughboy pool, head first, and if they didn’t break their neck they’d sit on the bottom, and inhale.

Trump tells the uneducated that he loves the uneducated and the uneducated take it as a compliment because they’re uneducated. Let’s go swimming! Everybody in the pool!

Trump is trying to talk reporters into revealing the name of the whistleblower, telling them, “You’d be doing a public service if you did.” He thinks they’ll fall for the faux patriotic bait like a MAGA would, but they’re not that stupid.

Trump is threatening to cut federal funding to California for wildfire aid out of spite, telling California that it’s on its own. The burning land is on federal land that his administration controls but he’s too stupid and mean to know that, or care.

Trump told Putin that he’d help with the fires in Siberia. Stupid son of a bitch. Both of them.

All 4 White House officials scheduled for the House inquiry depositions today are refusing to testify. That’s pretty stupid but when everybody else is acting stupid it looks like being stupid isn’t really as stupid as it looks.

Trump is tweeting about the “The Angry Majority.” Smart people are scratching their heads. Did he admit to the majority as being angry or did he think up a new MAGA slogan that is too stupid for a smart person to understand?

Trump won’t “rule out” shutting down the government to stop impeachment. That’s really stupid but he could do it. He’s the god damn president of the United States. How could people be so stupid as to vote for this guy or worse, blow off voting altogether?

Republican hypocrite fun fact: Congressman Ted Yoho, a member of the House Foreign Affairs Committee, has never attended a single impeachment deposition. Is that because he’s stupid or is it because he’s an arrogant, lazy, lying prick?

Paul Manafort is the master mind behind the conspiracy theory that is now at the center of the impeachment investigation — Ukraine hacked the DNC, not Russia. He came up with that story 5 months before the 2016 election and they all think that everybody else is stupid enough to believe it.

Trump is so stupid he questioned whether Ukraine was a real country or not. 7 months ago.

Trump is in a federal appeals court right now, fighting to do away with Obamacare entirely. If he wins, the entire Medicaid expansion is gone and anyone with a pre-existing condition will no longer be able to get insurance. To the average thinking, decent person, this is outrageous, inhumane, uncivilized, and stupid, but to Trump and the Republicans, it’s all business.

Mike Pence is still out there, wearing his “I’m with Stupid” tshirt, defending Trump, “The truth of the matter is, the do-nothing Democrats on Capitol Hill are spending all their time on endless investigations and a partisan impeachment.” The Democrats have passed 400 bills this year AND they’re moving ahead with impeachment. It’s the Republicans, stupid.

On top of passing hundreds of bills and impeaching Trump, the Democrats have to practice KISS — keep it stupid simple, because the average American has no idea what’s going on and needs to be spoon fed the facts in little bits so they won’t choke. That’s a huge feat that needs to be appreciated more than it is.

The wall prototype that Trump likes best can be sawed right through. He spent $20 million to make the samples. $15 million was taken from the Customs and Border Protection budget. Each prototype failed breach testing but leave it to stupid idiot Trump to pick the one that can be sawed through.

11 coal companies have filed for bankruptcy since Trump took office. Coal miners were pretty stupid to fall for Trump’s bullshit about saving the coal industry. If they vote for him again they should get a prize for being the most stupid people in the country — a lump of coal.

Transcripts of the depositions so far will be released this week. Prepare for Trump to do something really stupid.

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Spike Dolomite

Daily Crime Report - recounts of Trump and the Republicans’ daily disasters, with puns. Read them all in quarterly reports in The Treason Chronicles on Kindle.