Stupid Is As Stupid Does

The coronavirus is in all 50 states now — 5,881 confirmed cases, nearly 1,300 new cases in one day. 107 people have died. Macy’s, Nordstrom, and Apple retail stores have closed and fast food restaurants have closed their dining rooms. People who have the luxury of working from home are, but grocery and drug store workers can’t because their fellow Americans need to eat and get their medicine. For those who are still going in to the office every day, low wage janitors are still expected to come in and clean up after them without any special protective gear.

The pandemic has caused broken global supply chains, closed borders, shocked stock markets, job losses, closed schools, illness and death. The coronavirus has disrupted the world order and that stupid fucker has made it all much, much worse. Trump may not have caused the virus, but he’s made it way worse.

Trump doesn’t see it that way. He’s doing a great job and he gets to be on TV every day. Yesterday he said that one day the coronavirus will “pop” and the outbreak will end. “One day, we will say we won………..I think we are going to win faster than what people think……..I felt this was a pandemic before it was a pandemic……..the only thing we have not done well is to get good press.”

Treasury Secretary Steve Mnuchin warned that the US could see 20% unemployment. He wants to give money away but he doesn’t want anybody to worry about the deficit or talk about socialism when he does (since when has he ever worried about the deficit?) He and the White House are discussing a stimulus plan worth $1 trillion.

Republican hypocrite fun fact: In 2008 after Obama took office, the Republicans rejected the $1 trillion stimulus package that would ultimately save the economy. That’s when the stupid tea party movement started which later gave rise to the stupid MAGA movement and here we are. America is stupid.

Trump can’t wait to give out money. He gets to be the hero! He loves throwing other people’s money around. He tweeted: For the people that are now out of work because of the important and necessary containment policies, for instance the shutting down of hotels, bars and restaurants, money will soon be coming to you. The onslaught of the Chinese Virus is not your fault! Will be stronger than ever!

Notice he mentioned his industry, hotels, first and used Chinese and fault in the same sentence.

A little while ago he tweeted: I always treated the Chinese Virus very seriously, and have done a very good job from the beginning, including my very early decision to close the “borders” from China — against the wishes of almost all. Many lives were saved. The Fake News new narrative is disgraceful & false!

The theme for the day is it’s all China’s fault. He thinks we’re all stupid and won’t see what he’s doing.

Asian-American White House reporter for CBS, Weijia Jiang, was in the White House yesterday and an official referred to the coronavirus as the Kung Flu right to her face. Stupid asshole.

The Senate still hasn’t committed to passing the House’s bill, which would provide free testing and paid sick leave, and boost unemployment insurance and food assistance. After the Senate blew the coronavirus off for 3 days, McConnell is back and now forced to have to let the Senate vote without dicking around but Rand Paul has to dick around with it anyway, because he’s such a stupid dick. He wants an amendment about Afghanistan in it. Stupid. It has nothing to do with the virus. The 2 senators from Kentucky are playing games with our very lives.

In addition to having 2 dick senators, Kentucky also has the stupidest people. A guy in the hospital with the coronavirus checked himself out against doctor’s orders because he wanted to go home. So now the cops have to sit outside his house 24/7 to make sure he doesn’t leave and kill somebody.

Kid Rock refused to close his bar in Nashville. He called the mayor’s orders to protect the public “unconstitutional.” Kid Rock is really, really stupid.

Florida’s Republican governor refused to shut down the beaches. So now stupid people have packed the beaches because that’s where all the other stupid people are.

In Gulf Shores, Alabama, people are partying for spring break at the beaches and in the bars and restaurants because that’s what stupid people do.

While we were all sleeping some stupid idiot (probably from Kentucky, Florida or Alabama) made up a stupid story about Oprah being arrested for sex trafficking and it went viral. It was debunked and Oprah herself responded to it before we all woke up. Stupid losers who have always had too much time on their hands to do stupid shit like this have even more time to do stupid shit like this so house bound internet surfers beware. The stupid idiots are bored and busier than ever.

Trump’s “spiritual adviser” Paula White, and the head of the White House’s “Faith and Opportunity Initiative” program, is asking stupid people to send her money using a specially designed coronavirus prayer. “Maybe you’d like to sow a $91 seed… Or maybe $9. Or whatever God tells you to do.” Stupid suckers will send her money. They’ll vote for Trump again too. Hell, they’d believe Oprah is a sex trafficker, pass a joint on the beaches of Florida, lick the bar seats in the clubs of Alabama, and do belly button shots with Corona beer chasers at Kid Rock’s bar.

Beware of stupid people. Stupid is as stupid does.

Support the Daily Crime Report on Patreon!

For a copy of the Trump-Ukraine Impeachment Inquiry Report, click here.

For a copy of the Mueller Report, click here.

For a list of attorneys giving legal analysis about the imploding Trump presidency on Twitter, click here.

For the best journalists to follow on Twitter, click here.

For straight news, check out these reliable sources on Twitter.

The Daily Crime Reports are being published as “quarterly reports” (three month groups) as part of “The Treason Chronicles” on Amazon for Kindle. To purchase one or more quarters, click here.



Daily Crime Report - recounts of Trump and the Republicans’ daily disasters, with puns. Read them all in quarterly reports in The Treason Chronicles on Kindle.

Get the Medium app

A button that says 'Download on the App Store', and if clicked it will lead you to the iOS App store
A button that says 'Get it on, Google Play', and if clicked it will lead you to the Google Play store
Spike Dolomite

Daily Crime Report - recounts of Trump and the Republicans’ daily disasters, with puns. Read them all in quarterly reports in The Treason Chronicles on Kindle.