Supremes

Spike Dolomite
4 min readMay 21, 2021

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Governor Greg Abbott of Texas has made not wearing masks mandatory and has outlawed abortion before most women even know they’re pregnant because he reigns supreme and represents the Supreme Being. After signing the “pro-life” heart beat law, he executed Quintin Jones, a black man.

“If a Texan learns that a neighbor had an abortion seven weeks after getting pregnant, he could file suit against the physician who performed the procedure. And the nurse who was in the room. And the friend who drove the neighbor to the clinic.” — Rachel Maddow

Speaking of supreme creepy Texans, Louie Gohmert said in a floor speech that his SAT score would “shock people that think I’m the dumbest guy in Congress.”

Another story of cops killing of yet another unarmed black man: Ronald Greene was pulled over in Louisiana 2 years ago then tortured, brutally beaten and killed by white supremacist cops who later lied about it and said he died in a car accident even though he had taser wires sticking out if his back. Police cam was just leaked to the public by an anonymous member of the press.

In Missouri, Mark McCloskey, the captain of the supreme racist ambulance chaser married attorneys, Captain and Toenail, who stood out on their lawn with their guns drawn defending their gawdy mansion from peaceful Black Lives Matter protesters a year ago, is running for Senate. He’s campaigning on waving his gun at racial justice protesters as a matter of white supremacy importance.

Meanwhile, racism at the University of North Carolina-Chapel Hill is playing out with the board of trustees blocking tenure for Pulitzer Prize winner Nikole Hannah-Jones, professor of journalism and author of the 1619 Project (the history of slavery and white supremacy in America which is being cancelled by Republicans across the country and forbidden from being taught in red state schools because of criticism by conservatives) because they don’t want her kind permanently placed in their parts. The trustees blew off the hard work of the tenure committee who took a year carefully vetting Professor Hannah-Jones plus all of the faculty letters of recommendation because they’re racist, sexist supreme shitheads. The board of trustees is comprised of 13 people — 11 white men, 1 white woman and 1 black woman. The chair is a former GOP southern state senator.

Speaking of racist education institutions in North Carolina, at Davidson College, 11 old white male alums got ahold of the alumni email list and sent out a manifesto at midnight which condemned the school for allowing religious diversity on the board of trustees. One of the hijackers was a former governor of North Carolina, James G. Martin and another was Greg Murphy, the guy who got national attention for saying that Kamala Harris became vice president just because she was black. Supreme self appointed sacristans.

Also in North Carolina — a racist appellate court judge was caught on city video trying to hit a Black Lives Matter protester with his SUV. The supreme piece of shit has been charged with misdemeanor assault with a deadly weapon.

South Carolina has become the 5th state to legally kill prisoners via firing squad.

At a rally in South Carolina, QAnon Trump attorney Lin Wood told drooling MAGAs that he posted “get the firing squad ready” for Mike Pence during the Capitol attack because “I thought Mike Pence was a traitor. The government still uses firing squads for traitors.” Take that to the Supreme Court.

Tucker Carlson mocked Don Lemon for defending the Democrats when he said, “everyone is welcome under this tent.” Tucker called him out on his show and said that everybody is welcome except for white supremacists, QAnon people and anybody who doesn’t agree with them. Fucker Carlson is a supreme turd.

Republican Anthony Bouchard is going to challenge Liz Cheney for her congressional seat in Wyoming. He stands a very good chance of winning because he is so awful. When he was 18 he got a 14 year old pregnant in Florida. They got married because kids could get married in Florida if they were going to have a kid. He divorced her when she was 17. She committed suicide at age 20. He called it a Romeo and Juliet story. Hell of a guy — fits right in with today’s GOP, a supreme prick.

A 14 year old getting pregnant who ends up killing herself is a very good argument for preserving Roe v Wade but Republicans want to control birth. Amy Coney Barrett is the Supreme Court Justice we never wanted who will make you keep the baby you never wanted because of a religion that you don’t want.

Republiqan hero, teenaged white supremacist murderer, Kyle Rittenhouse, is in court right now for his first in person court appearance in Kenosha, Wisconsin after being out on bond because his fan club raised the bail for him. Supreme savages.

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Spike Dolomite
Spike Dolomite

Written by Spike Dolomite

Daily Crime Report - recounts of Trump and the Republicans’ daily disasters, with puns.

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