Surprise Attack

Spike Dolomite
4 min readOct 9, 2023

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Hamas took Israel by surprise Saturday night at the end of the High Holy Days and invaded by land, sky and sea, killing over 700 Israelis, injuring thousands and capturing hundreds of civilians. They went house by house. This is the worst attack on Israel since the Yom Kippur War of 1973. This was a well coordinated attack. Israel has the best intelligence and security anywhere so how could this happen and why now?

Over 400 Palestinians and 9 Americans were killed.

Senator Cory Booker is in Israel right now. He was there as a member of the Senate Foreign Relations Committee to speak at the Abraham Accords summit in Tel Aviv. He was jogging when the attack happened and took shelter in a bomb shelter with others.

Benjamin Netanyahu, the Trump of Israel, told the country they were at war. Israel has been teetering on the edge of democracy, just like the US has been since Trump. There has been a conflict inside of Israel between those who want authoritarianism and those who want democracy, just like in America.

Republicans are blaming Biden because that’s their default for everything. They don’t know any more about what’s going on in Israel and the middle east than they do about what’s going on in their own country.

Biden has pledged 100% support for Israel.

Normally in a situation like this, the “Gang of 8” is briefed on top secret information. The Gang of 8 are the leaders of the two parties from both the House and Senate, plus the chairs and ranking members of both Senate and House intelligence committees. We have no Speaker.

We have 300 vacancies in the military and a vacant chief of staff because of one lone Republican, Tommy Tuberville, who has been blocking all appointments and nominations. The government is only open for a little over a month. What happens if this war escalates in the region? The Republicans have made Congress a dysfunctional, dangerous mess. House Republicans voted down their own defense bill more than once a few weeks ago. After the first time, Chairman Mike McCaul said in his 20 years in Congress, “I’ve never seen the rule brought down on a defense appropriations bill.” Republicans have weakened our ability to respond to outside threats.

Perhaps Tuberville, who had a role to play in the insurrection even though he had just been elected, is blocking appointments because he wants to leave them vacant so Trump can fill them with temporary positions when he gets elected so he can boss them around and have complete control, just like he did when he was president.

RNC Chair Ronna McDaniel described the attack on Israel as a “great opportunity” for Republicans. Horrible and embarrassing.

MAGA Republicans can’t be pro-Israel because it’s full of Jews.

MAGA Republicans support our enemies and undercut our national security. They defend Putin but not Ukraine. They don’t care about our security, our allies, or democracy.

To defeat Putin in Ukraine would weaken Hamas and strengthen democracy in the west.

Republicans are a threat to America and democracy around the world.

Reminder: Trump gave Israeli secrets to Russia.

Trump called the king of Jordan and offered him the West Bank of Israel where 3 million Palestinians and 400,000 Israelis live as if it was his to sell.

Jim Jordan wants to be Speaker. He says he’s in favor of changing the motion to vacate rule because he doesn’t want the same thing to happen to him that happened to Kevin McCarthy. Jim Jordan isn’t popular with Republicans either so that should be another shit show trying to get Republicans to vote for him. He was part of the insurrection and should not only not be Speaker, he shouldn’t be in Congress. He should be in jail. If he’s Speaker, he would be the third in line for the presidency which would make the coup complete except he would get to be president instead of Trump.

At the dedication ceremony for the John McCain Library in Arizona a few weeks ago, President Biden spoke about his good friend who he had a long time working relationship with for decades. They really loved and respected each other. He a Democrat, and John McCain the last good, decent, patriotic Republican. Biden called Trump and the Republicans out during his speech and called on Americans not to sit on the sidelines as America is attacked from within. Otherwise we could be taken by surprise like Israel.

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Spike Dolomite
Spike Dolomite

Written by Spike Dolomite

Daily Crime Report - recounts of Trump and the Republicans’ daily disasters, with puns.

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