Swifty Fifty

Spike Dolomite
3 min readMar 11, 2021

Day 50 of the Biden presidency was the best day so far. Democrats passed the covid relief bill, Merrick Garland was confirmed as Attorney General, and the Dow closed at a new all time high of 32,297.

Joe Biden has done more good in 50 days than Trump did not only in 4 years as president, but in his entire miserable pathetic life.

The US economy is going to recover twice as fast thanks to the covid relief bill and the quick vaccine rollout. Trump said it would crash without him.

Trump issued a statement reminding people that if it wasn’t for him there wouldn’t be any China Virus vaccine at all.

While Trump was president, every Dem voted for the $2 trillion CARES Act. Now that a Democrat is president, not a single repug voted for the covid relief bill which benefits 85% of Americans and helps lift people out of poverty.

The Dems act more like Christians without ever uttering the word “Christian” while the repugs act like sinners, thieves, murderers, and whores, wearing stolen crucifix jewelry, “I’m Saved and You’re Not” t-shirts, MAGA hats, carrying Bibles they’ve never read, and screaming “America is a Christian nation!” Dems aren’t all Christian and the ones who are don’t flaunt it.

Both parties are not the same.

Two more Black Americans have been confirmed to serve in Biden’s cabinet — Michael Regan will lead the Environmental Protection Agency (he is the first African American to run that agency) and Marcia Fudge will lead HUD.

Now that covid relief is coming, 13,000 employees at American Airlines and United Airlines have been told that planned furloughs beginning in April will be cancelled. Amtrak is rehiring furloughed employees.

Republicans are bent out of shape about the cost of the bill. Their constituents like it but they don’t care. Mitch McConnell said it was the worst bill he has seen in his entire career. Does that mean Obamacare was better?

Republican Senator Rick Scott says the Biden administration needs to focus on the national debt now. The national debt that Republiqans created.

Senator old white man Republican Roger Wicker from Mississippi, who did not vote for the relief bill, tweeted: Independent restaurant operators have won $28.6 billion worth of targeted relief. This funding will ensure small businesses can survive the pandemic by helping to adapt their operations and keep their employees on the payroll.

Will Republiqans run against the covid relief bill in 2022 like they did the ACA in 2012 and 2016 or will they try and take credit for it like Roger Wicker has?

The Ronald Reagan “government is the problem” era is crashing and burning. Brainwashed conservatives are going to find out very soon that government can be a good thing if it’s run right, especially in a democracy where the people are supposed to be in charge.

Republiqan Congressman Glenn Grothman took a dig at BLM in his speech on the House floor when he said, “I know it’s a group that doesn’t like the old fashioned family” (as in Trump’s 3 families?) Stacey Plaskett gave him what for when it was her turn to speak. She said, “How dare you say that Black Lives Matter, Black people do not understand old-fashioned families … We’ve been able to keep our families alive for over 400 years! How dare you say we are not interested in family in the Black community!”

Wicked witch Marjorie Taylor Greene called Italian American Congressman David Cicilline “Rep. Mussolini.” She said Guam was a “foreign country that shouldn’t receive aid from the United States”. Trump didn’t know that Puerto Rico was part of the US either. Marjorie Taylor Greene is Trump without a womb broom.

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Spike Dolomite

Daily Crime Report - recounts of Trump and the Republicans’ daily disasters, with puns. Read them all in quarterly reports in The Treason Chronicles on Kindle.