Take Out the Trash

Spike Dolomite
3 min readJul 19, 2023

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Trash talking Marjorie Taylor Greene, Lauren Boebert, and Jim Jordan all defended Trump in tweets after Trump got his target letter. They all blame the government for accusing a great man. Kevin McCarthy gave a press conference and said that the reason why Jack Smith is going to indict Trump for January 6 is because his poll numbers are increasing and they’re using the justice department to sabotage his campaign.

Trailer trash MAGAs don’t believe any of the accusations against their cult letter because they don’t trust the government or the media. Why? Because they trust Trump and Trump told them not to trust the government or the media. Trump just gets more popular with his poor white trash base every time he’s indicted.

The target letter references three federal statutes - conspiracy to commit offense or to defraud the United States, deprivation of rights under color of law, and tampering with a witness, victim or an informant.

There will be more indictments. He’ll be charged for ripping cult followers off with his fundraising scam where he convinced people to send him money to fight election fraud thus committing wire fraud, and he’ll be charged for showing classified documents to people who don’t have security clearance.

Trump is going to have at least 100 felony counts against him and trial dates when the Republicans nominate him as their candidate for president. The Republicans are going to get behind a trashy fascist criminal to run for president. Unbelievable.

Jack Smith sent a message to Trump appointee Judge Aileen Cannon when he timed sending the target letter to Trump, 2 days before her scheduled hearing to set a trial date for the Mar-a-Lago case. He’s letting her know that it doesn’t matter what she does with this case, she can’t save her benefactor from having to go to prison. He’s going out with the trash into the dust bins of history.

At the hearing yesterday, Aileen Cannon didn’t say yes to the government wanting the trial in December and she didn’t say yes to Trump wanting it postponed forever.

Michigan Attorney General Dana Nessel announced felony charges against 16 Michigan fake electors. Each defendant has been charged with one count of Conspiracy to Commit Forgery (a 14-year felony ), two counts of Forgery (a 14-year felony), one count of Conspiracy to Commit Uttering and Publishing (a 14-year felony), one count of Uttering and Publishing (a 14-year felony), one count of Conspiracy to Commit Election Law Forgery (a 5-year felony), and two counts of Election Law Forgery (a 5-year felony).

Eric Bochene, the MAGA insurrectionist who represented himself in court and requested $75,000 per hour for his legal services, blew off court yesterday. Now there’s a new arrest warrant out for that piece of trash.

The Nazi MAGA who went to jail for participating in the Unite the Right rally in Charlottesville, Tyler Bradley Dykes, a veteran, was at the Capitol on January 6 too, after he got out of jail. He was in the military at the time. He’s been charged with 9 offenses.

Rachel Powell, the mom from Pennsylvania who used an ice axe and a giant pole to break into the Capitol, and a bullhorn to direct rioters, was convicted of 9 federal counts and could go to jail for 47 years. One of her 8 kids was wearing a MAGA hat in court. The cops had raided her house and took all of her guns, burner phones, rope, duct tape, and throwing stars. She knew the layout of the Capitol because someone gave her schematics.

Mark Meadows removed more than 1,000 pages of classified documents from the White House late at night on Trump’s last night in the White House.

Trump stole ancient artifacts from Israel that had been on loan to the White House in 2019. They’re at Mar-a-Lago, probably shoved behind the omelet bar next to the trash can.

White trash member of Congress, Lauren Boebert, was given a pin honoring the victims of the mass shooting in Uvalde that killed 19 fourth graders as she was walking down the hall at the Capitol. She tossed it in the trash.

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Spike Dolomite
Spike Dolomite

Written by Spike Dolomite

Daily Crime Report - recounts of Trump and the Republicans’ daily disasters, with puns.

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