Tales Between Their Legs
A former staffer of Rudy Giuliani’s, Noelle Dunphy, is suing him for $10 million for sexual abuse. She says he made her give him blow jobs whenever he was on speaker phone with Trump because it made him feel like Bill Clinton. He’d tell her she was like a daughter to him while they were having sex and then ask if that was weird. He’d make her bring him scotch on demand and then hit her in the face. He made her work naked or wear the patriotic short shorts that he gave her. For Zoom meetings, he’d make her undress. She stayed on because he promised her $1 million salary, but said he had to defer it while he was in the process of divorcing Judith Giuliani then ended up only paying her $12,000. She is seeking $10 million in unpaid wages and damages, plus sexual assault, battery, gender discrimination and harassment, fostering a hostile work environment, retaliation, breach of contract, and violations of state labor laws.
Rudy is broke.
Rudy told Noelle Dunphy he was selling pardons for $2 million each and was going to split it with Trump. She has recordings and emails.
Former Homeland Security official from the Trump era who didn’t go along with the Big Lie and would call those lies out, Nina Jankowicz, is suing Fox News for defamation because they’d beat her up on air relentlessly. She had to move because she got so many rape and death threats so now Fox is gonna pay. She hired the same lawyers that represented Dominion.
A bat shit crazy weirdo with a metal baseball bat went into Councilman Gerry Connolly’s office and busted up computers and glass, then attacked two of his staffers. He struck a senior aide in the head and hit an intern in her abdomen (it was her first day on the job). They both went to the hospital but are going to be OK. Gerry Connolly is a Democrat.
After 4 years, the Durham Report, commissioned by Bill Barr to prove the existence of the deep state and crimes made by Trump’s enemies, is complete and whaddaya know, it turned up nothing. It’s a complete dud. It exonerated Bob Mueller, Hillary Clinton, and the FBI. There were 2 charges but 0 convictions. Bill Barr and the Republicans thought this was their winning ticket and they’d get to put all Trump haters in Gitmo. The report is 300 pages long and cost $6 million. The Mueller Report paid for itself five times over.
Republican Congressman, James Comer, chair of the House Oversight Committee, reluctantly held a press conference with his tale between his legs, surrounded by committee members who had their tales between their legs too, to admit they had nothing. Comer has been investigating the Bidens for 5 years. He’s blaming nothing on a mysterious informant that has disappeared. Another one of the tales between his legs has become public. A former girlfriend has come forward to say that he repeatedly abused her both physically and mentally. He made her get an abortion (he wants to ban abortion nationally) and went nuts when she put his real name on the form requiring proof that she had an escort to drive her home.
MAGA House Republican in Texas, Bryan Slaton, who introduced a bill mandating death for women who seek abortions because that’s what it says in the Republican Bible, has resigned after investigators found out he was having unprotected sex with a teen aged staffer after getting her liquored up. After one of their trysts, she bought the Plan B emergency contraceptive to keep his sperm from hitting her egg. He is a Baptist pastor with degrees from three different theological institutions who has been divorced twice. He wants to ban children from attending drag shows to protect them from perverted adults. He is the legislature’s first member to be cast out of office since 1927. There must be more to the story because infidelity, lying about abortion, pedophilia, and divorce are all acceptable in today’s GOP.
The tales between their legs are all pages ripped out of the Republican Bible.
