Thanks, Biden!

Spike Dolomite
3 min readNov 20, 2023

Trump did a MAGA rally in Iowa and told the crowd he wasn’t into golden showers. A 77 year old man running for president tried convincing attendants at a campaign event that he wasn’t into hookers peeing on each other. He also mocked Jimmy Carter, a day before his beloved wife of 77 years, Rosalyn Carter, was put into hospice care and then died. She was 96.

Fox News’s Jesse Watters tried to make the point that Biden isn’t as popular as Trump by saying his voters don’t worship him like Trump’s do. Where are the hats, mugs, and flags? Either people aren’t voting for Biden or Biden voters aren’t idiot cult followers.

It’s Biden’s 81st birthday. The press is more interested in Biden’s age than Trump, who is only 3 years younger than Biden, trying to finish what he started by trying to destroy democracy so he can be dictator for life.

In Wisconsin, Neo-Nazis paraded through the streets with swastikas chanting “there will be blood,” before ending outside a synagogue.

MAGA Republican from Texas, Chip Roy, threw a fit on the House floor asking for evidence that the Republicans have done a damn thing this year which is ironic since there is a video out there of him admitting to the Republicans’ plan to obstruct and create chaos so Congress can’t get anything done until they take power again. Yelling at his colleagues on the House floor was all for show.

Chip Roy fun fact: There are texts that he sent to Mark Meadows regarding the January 6 attack. He’s on the insurrectionist list.

A Democrat in the House, Sean Casten, made a speech directed towards his Republican colleagues as they dashed out the door to go home for Thanksgiving. He told the Republicans that when they’re expressing gratitude with their families before they eat on Thursday that they don’t forget the Democrats who saved their butts this year. “Mr. Speaker, next week, Americans across the country will gather around their dinner tables and share what they’re thankful for. And I hope my Republican colleagues will use that moment to reflect on how lucky you are to work with us House Democrats.”

Georgie Santos won’t be running for re-election after a 58 page bipartisan ethics report came out that uncovered all sorts of disgusting and improper things such as using campaign funds for makeup, botox, spa treatments, and paying down personal debt. He blamed the press for tormenting his family. What family?

The House Ethics chair, Michael Guest, introduced a resolution to expel George Santos. They’re going to try again.

Proud Boy Joe Biggs, the veteran who has served as a “correspondent” for Alex Jones’s Info Wars, was sentenced to 17 years, the second longest sentence to date. He got off easy because prosecutors wanted 33 years. He cried and begged the judge for mercy.

A woman in Ohio is facing charges of abusing a corpse after she miscarried at home. The fetus died in utero and fell out in the toilet which is not uncommon. She panicked and tried to flush it which clogged the toilet. That’s the “abuse” she’s being blamed for. Republicans think she should have taken the fetus out of the toilet, bathed it, clothed it and had a proper Christian burial for it.

Nevada has opened an investigation into its fake electors.

Truth Social has lost $32 million since it launched.

Snoop Dogg is giving up smoking pot after a lifetime of smoking it.

MAGA stoners are blaming Biden for not being able to get a dime bag for a dime anymore.

Pink is giving banned books away at all of her concerts in Florida.

Joe Manchin isn’t running for re-election, Tim Scott dropped out of the presidential race and Jill Stein is back.

Today is Transgender Remembrance Day. Give a nice thought for the transgender people who have been murdered by haters and to those who are still living and just want to live their lives in peace but have been put in serious danger by the Republicans who singled them out and put targets on their backs to score political points.

Joe Biden may be old, but he is evolved. He’s the only president who has told transgender youth publicly that he “had their backs.”

We’re better with Biden. Thanks, Biden!

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Spike Dolomite

Daily Crime Report - recounts of Trump and the Republicans’ daily disasters, with puns. Read them all in quarterly reports in The Treason Chronicles on Kindle.