That’s What She Said

Spike Dolomite
4 min readSep 26, 2018

Rachel Mitchell, a prosecutor in the Maricopa County Attorney’s office in Phoenix, Arizona, has been hired to question Dr. Blasey Ford tomorrow on behalf of the old white male Republicans on the Senate Judiciary Committee. They’re hoping that will be a smart move on their part, putting a token vagina in the interrogator’s seat, so nobody will look at them and people will believe that they are sensitive to women (there has never been a Republican woman on the Senate Judiciary Committee — EVER.) She’s a Republican and works in the violent sex crimes unit so they’re confident that she’ll deliver a win for them….. because SHE said it.

Mitch McConnell refers to Rachel Mitchell as an assistant. Does Rachel Mitchell refer to herself as an assistant? Is that on her resume? Is that what she says?

Republicans are wasting tax dollars on political theatre to give cover to their cowardice. This isn’t going to be a proper, respectful, thorough, sincere investigation. It’s going to be he said she said.

Dr. Blasey Ford’s attorneys have asked the Senate Judiciary Committee to allow for two trauma experts and the person who administered her polygraph to testify. The Republican senators said NOPE. She has 4 people who can testify that say they have known about her being attacked by Brett Kavanaugh for years. Their sworn statements were sent to the Senate. The Republican senators aren’t going to go for that. Heresy! Cough cough. Hearsay! Don’t say it!

Chuck Grassley is going to hold the vote on Friday morning. The audacity! Scheduling a vote the day after, BEFORE anyone hears Dr. Blasey Ford say anything! It’s spectacle. Their minds are already made up. That seat belongs to Brett Kavanaugh, no matter what she says.

The GOP is putting Dr. Balsey Ford on trial without calling any witnesses or letting the FBI do an investigation. Their goal is to delegitimize her. But unlike Anita Hill, they’ll have their hired token vagina assistant do it for them.

Republican hypocrite fun fact: Fox News’ Tucker Carlson says women who get raped and don’t report it are part of the problem. If she doesn’t say it, then it didn’t happen.

Brett Kavanaugh’s drinking buddy and partner in crime, Mark Judge, is hiding out from the press but they keep finding him. What did she say? WHAT DID SHE SAY?

Brett Kavanaugh’s roommate from college said he believes the second accuser, Debbie Ramirez, because he knows what a drunken perv Brett Kavanaugh was. He lived with him. More and more people are coming forward to say that Brett Kavanaugh was no virgin.

Republican congressman Kevin Cramer of North Dakota said, “Even if it’s all true, does it disqualify him? It certainly means that he did something really bad 36 years ago, but does it disqualify him from the Supreme Court?”

RAPE CULTURE. Even if he did try to rape her, it was a long time ago……what does that have to do with _______________? So we’re supposed to ruin a man’s life based upon what SHE said?

Speaking of rape culture, Bill Cosby finally got what’s coming to him after 40 years of drugging and raping women. He got sentenced to 3–10 years for one sexual assault. 60 other women have accused him of the same thing but the statute of limitations ran out on them.

Bill Cosby’s publicist, Andrew Wyatt, is outraged! He proclaimed after the sentencing that both Bill Cosby and Brett Kavanaugh are victims of a “sex war” waged on them by the racist sexist mass media, the justice system, and vindictive women. You’re going to convict America’s dad and a judge based upon WHAT SHE SAID?

Trump gave a speech at the UN General Assembly and got laughed at by the entire world. The punch line was one he uses at all of his MAGA rallies — “Our administration has accomplished almost more than any other in the history of the United States.” World leaders busted out laughing. He shrugged it off and tried to make like he went for the laugh. I started a joke which started the whole world laughing.

Trump doesn’t know how to talk to anyone but his groupies at his MAGA rallies. He went for his greatest hits at the UN General Assembly and bombed. His bits don’t play well with competent, experienced and thoughtful world leaders.

On people fleeing violence, he said they should “make their countries great again.”

On Debbie Ramirez, he said SHE WAS DRUNK! Don’t believe what she said!

Mitch McConnell is calling for a floor vote for next week. They’re ramming him through.

That’s what she said.

Support the Daily Crime Report on Patreon!



Spike Dolomite

Daily Crime Report - recounts of Trump and the Republicans’ daily disasters, with puns. Read them all in quarterly reports in The Treason Chronicles on Kindle.