The Adults Have Entered The Room

Spike Dolomite
4 min readAug 13, 2020

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Joe Biden and Kamala Harris appeared as running mates for the first time in an empty, ordinary high school gymnasium in Wilmington, Delaware. Everybody wore masks. No stadium. No big crowd. No expensive, uniform signs. No music. No applause. It was quiet, humble and moving. Understated but inspiring — very appropriate for the times we’re living in. There’s nothing to cheer about when people are dying and losing their jobs and homes. Since both candidates are spontaneous huggers it was really hard for them at times to be that in control of the moment.

Having been through the vetting process himself, Joe made sure that his team kept a tight lid on things, insisting that everybody honor the seriousness of the decision and not do anything to embarrass or undermine the campaign. He made sure that he made optimal use of the moment by talking directly to the many people who were tuning in just to see Kamala make history, because he may not get the same chance again. He said, “I’ve asked Kamala to be the last voice in the room… always tell me the truth… challenge my assumptions if she disagrees. Ask the tough questions. Because that’s the way we make the best decisions for the American people.”

Joe thinks of himself as the transition president. He understands that he stands in between the first black president and the first black woman president. His role is to shepherd in the new, while breaking the mold for old white guys in the process. That’s how to use your privilege.

He said that now little black and brown girls can picture themselves as president or vice president one day. He said president first.

While considering all of his choices for vice president, he was not only evaluating everybody in the same way that other candidates have done, but he had one other task. At age 77 he understands that he could very well be picking the next president, for the average life expectancy for a male in America is 78.5 years.

He’s 77. What other reason could he have for doing this other than saving the country? He’s taking on the biggest crisis in America, second only to Lincoln.

They knew Trump would be watching so they both talked directly to him. Joe talked about it being the third anniversary of Charlottesville and called Trump out for being a racist and inciting violence. He said, “No president of the United States has ever said anything like that…….very fine people on both sides.”

Kamala said, “He inherited the longest economic expansion in history from Barack Obama and Joe Biden. And then, like everything else he inherited, he ran it straight into the ground.”

After the event Kamala paid homage to the women who went before and owned “ambitious” in a tweet: I was so proud to stand with Joe Biden earlier today as our party’s nominee for Vice President, and I do so mindful of all the heroic and ambitious women before me whose sacrifice, determination, and resilience makes my presence here even possible.

Trump called an ego stroke conference at the same time to take media attention away from Joe and Kamala.

Jared committed election interference by meeting with Kanye West. They’re taking advantage of a mentally ill black celebrity to get him on the ballot in some states so they can take black votes away from Biden.

It’s back to school time for the poor kids and teachers who live in red states. This year, schools will be fundraising for masks, hand sanitizer and plastic desk shields in addition to toilet and copy paper. Governor DeSantis in Florida said his schools are tough! As in Navy Seals killing Osama Bin Laden kind of tough. He said that. He compared schools re-opening to killing a terrorist.

The Trump loving, anti-masker governor of South Dakota, Kristi Noem, is having a $400,000 security fence built around her house for protection. Protect her from what? QAnon bikers riding out of Sturgis? Antifa? Trump showing up demanding to be put on Mt. Rushmore? She won’t say but she’s scared.

Trump tweeted that he was calling in to Fox and Friends this morning and invited everybody to tune in. “Enjoy!” He also tweeted this: Very poor morning TV ratings for MSDNC’s Morning Joe, headed by a complete Psycho named Joe Scarborough and his ditzy airhead wife, Mika, and also @CNN, headed by complete unknowns. Congratulations to @foxandfriends on dominating the mornings (thank you President Trump!).

When he called in to Fox he admitted why he won’t fund the US Postal Service — “Now they need that money in order to make the post office work so it can take all of these millions and millions of ballots…But if they don’t get those two items that means you can’t have universal mail-in voting…”

82 days until we get to vote.

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Spike Dolomite
Spike Dolomite

Written by Spike Dolomite

Daily Crime Report - recounts of Trump and the Republicans’ daily disasters, with puns.

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