The Emperor Has No Money

Spike Dolomite
4 min readSep 28, 2020


The New York Times has revealed what New Yorkers have known for decades — Trump is a clown living on credit. He’s broke. They have his tax returns and according to what he reported to the Internal Revenue Service, he paid more for sex than he did in taxes — $750 in 2016 and 2017, the years he was campaigning and his first year as president. He paid NOTHING for 10 out of the 15 previous years because he said he lost more than he made. According to his tax reports, he lost hundreds of millions more than he took in. Since 2000, he reported losses of $315. 6 million at his golf courses. Now that he’s president, the government pays him, his staff, guests, and secret service to stay at his golf courses. He has made over $140 million by vacationing every weekend at his own clubs. His DC hotel, which opened while he was on the campaign trail in 2016, has shown losses through 2018 of $55.5 million.

He needs to “win” the election so he can keep living and profiting off of the government because he’s got $300 million in loans that are coming due within 4 years and he doesn’t have any money.

“You can read Trump’s tax returns two ways: either Donald Trump is the greatest tax cheat in US history — or he is a financial desperado hopelessly in debt to God knows who and needs every dollar he scams from Secret Service golf car rentals just to pay the electricity bill.” — David Frum

“Trump can’t even afford to own the libs.” — Jerry Newberger

The New York Times broke the story right before Trump took to the White House podium after golfing all day to put on a little show for the media so he could keep people talking about anything except him murdering 200,000 Americans and seating a new Supreme Court justice to help him “win” the election. He brought Rudy Giuliani and Chris Christie with him. He rambled on and on to buy time and keep reporters from asking him about the New York Times report. When he was finally asked about his taxes he attacked the IRS and yelled fake news. Fox aired it of course, but made a faux pas when someone in the control room grumbled “Ah shit” with the mic on just as Trump was getting ready to ramble on and on.

Right after the news broke, Brad Pascale locked himself in his house with a gun and threatened to kill himself. He’s in the hospital now on suicide watch. He, along with Jared Kushner and Paul Manafort, knows where all the campaign money went. He was Trump’s campaign manager up until 4 months ago. He’s freaking out. Right after that news broke Trump’s campaign communications director blamed the Democrats for being mean to him.

Reminder: Trump’s personal loan officer at Deutsche Bank was Supreme Court Justice Kennedy’s son. We still don’t know why Kennedy retired but he did make room for Brett Kavanaugh.

Undocumented immigrants paid $23 billion in taxes in 2016. Teachers paid $7,239, firefighters paid $5,283, nurses paid $10,216, truck drivers paid $9,235, sanitation workers paid $3,209, Army sergeants paid $2,380 , grocery store cashiers paid $1,337.

The Manhattan district attorney’s office, which has been tied up in court for a year with Trump trying to get his tax returns, suggested in a court filing last week that it had grounds to investigate him and his businesses for tax fraud. If successful, they can drag Trump out of the White House even if he “wins” the election.

The Trump administration took $300 million from the CDC budget to make a pro Trump ad about the coronavirus starring Dennis Quaid who must be broke too.

Lindsey Graham is broke. He keeps going on Fox News to beg for money for his campaign. It’s like a Lindsey Graham telethon. He says the Senate Judiciary Committee will approve Amy Coney Barrett’s nomination on October 22 so they can vote before election day so they can buy the emperor some new clothes.

Trump is broke and flopping in our house, living off of taxpayers and profiting off of his presidency making money on his weekend trips to his own properties. He needs this job.

Trump is fighting for more than his brand, businesses, money, image and re-election. He’s fighting for his freedom. If he loses the election, he faces federal and state prosecution for bank fraud, tax fraud, wire fraud, and mail fraud. He could die all alone in jail, broke and bald.

36 days until we get to vote.

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Spike Dolomite

Daily Crime Report - recounts of Trump and the Republicans’ daily disasters, with puns. Read them all in quarterly reports in The Treason Chronicles on Kindle.