The Lady Says, “Vote”

Spike Dolomite
4 min readAug 18, 2020

The first night of the Democratic National Convention featured a whole lot of ordinary people who have been screwed by Trump. None of them looked alike. There were some celebs, Democratic power players, naturally, and several Republicans who were voting for Biden which is very unnatural. It was under produced, unpolished, and subdued. No bright lights, no loud music, no huge crowds. Just a humble use of the internet with an audience stuck inside due to the Trump Plague. It was fitting and appropriate for the times. Governor Cuomo said that the coronavirus pandemic was a “man-made threat by our own negligence.” Bernie Sanders said that Nero fiddled while Rome burned and Trump golfs. Former Republican governor of Ohio and presidential candidate, John Kasich said he was putting country before party and voting for Biden. Michelle Obama topped it all off with an 18 minute speech that made people cry a much needed cry — “A president’s words have the power to move markets. They can start wars or broker peace. They can summon our better angels or awaken our worst instincts. You simply cannot fake your way through this job……Donald Trump is the wrong president for our country. He has had more than enough time to prove that he can do the job, but he is clearly in over his head. He cannot meet this moment. He simply cannot be who we need him to be for us. It is what it is…..If you think things cannot possibly get worse, trust me, they can and they will if we don’t make a change in this election. If we have any hope of ending this chaos, we have got to vote for Joe Biden like our lives depend on it.” She was wearing a necklace that said, “VOTE.”

“The biggest takeaway for me was that Joe Biden vs. Trump is a campaign that can bring together Bernie Sanders and John Kasich — and that’s a real big tent.” — John Avlon

Trump’s response? Michelle Obama is no lady! She’s the one who is way over her head!

Marco Rubio’s response? Hollywood elite! Hollywood elite! He tweeted: Brilliant move! No one is more in touch with the challenges & obstacles faced by everyday Americans than actors & celebrities.

All the repugs have for their convention are their reality TV star president, the My Pillow guy, Kanye West, Scott Baio, Kid Rock, Ted Nugent and KKKaptain and Tenille, the St Louis couple who pulled guns on black people as they walked by their mansion.

“James Woods has asked his girlfriend if she and some of her 7th grade friends would make a dance TiKTok to show at the RNC.” — Tony Posnanski

While the convention was going on, Trump was on Air Force One flying back from making a fool of himself in Minnesota. He threw out a teaser by telling reporters that he’d be pardoning someone in the morning and he gave them a hint. It wasn’t William Snowden or Mike Flynn. It’s a “very, very important figure.” This morning he summoned the press for the ceremonial pardon of a lady…..Susan B. Anthony, the leader of the women’s suffrage movement who got arrested for illegally voting in 1872. He timed it for the 100th anniversary of the passing of the 19th amendment which gave 50% of the country a right to vote. Susan B. Anthony is rolling over in her grave at the very idea that a sexist rapist who is using his presidential power to keep people from voting has “pardoned” her, “Don’t call me lady!” People laughed at him. He didn’t get it.

When Trump was in Minnesota he made a speech on the tarmac that was of course ridiculous. He said, “I was man of the year 11 years ago in Michigan. I don’t know why but they picked me……We are going to win four more years. And then after that we’ll go for another four years because they spied on my campaign. We should get a redo of four years.” Then he accused Kamala Harris of planning a socialist take over of health care.

Earlier in the day he tweeted: Why is Congress scheduled to meet (on Post Office) next Monday, during the Republican Convention, rather than now, while the Dems are having their Convention. They are always playing games. GET TOUGH REPUBLICANS!!!

As he and Melania deplaned Air Force One, cameras picked up Melania pulling her hand away from Trump as he tried to hold it. Some people felt sorry for her. Others thought, “I’ve seen her naked.”

Our first lady is better than their third lady.

77 days until we get to vote.

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Spike Dolomite

Daily Crime Report - recounts of Trump and the Republicans’ daily disasters, with puns. Read them all in quarterly reports in The Treason Chronicles on Kindle.