The Last Thanksgiving

Rudy, Roger Stone, Michael Flynn, Devin Nunes, Mick Mulvaney, Rick Perry, and Gordon Sondland all got to enjoy their last Thanksgiving as free men. Trump, too. He spent his by making an impromptu, surprise trip to Afghanistan to film a few scenes for his 2020 campaign video.

This was his first time going to Afghanistan. A real president would have gone in the first couple of months of their presidency. He really needed the photo op after he defied the chain of command in the US military and pardoned and glorified war criminals. He made a speech with troops behind him and patted himself on the back for being the greatest president ever in the history of the world. He was most thankful for himself on Thanksgiving. “I made a tremendous difference in the country………I’ve been saying for a long time, keep the oil. Hate to say it, I used to say it with a place called Iraq too. Keep the oil, they didn’t listen to me. I was a civilian. Now they have to listen…….. A thing called space. You know about that right? Space. We’re going to have space covered very well. We’re covering it now but we have to cover it to a much greater extent…….It’s nice to know you’re fighting for something that is doing well, as opposed to something that was not doing well a number of years ago.”

There is a morale problem in the military because of Trump and using the troops as props didn’t help that.

The White House issued a formal decree — “THEREFORE, I, DONALD J. TRUMP, President of the United States of America, by virtue of the authority vested in me by the Constitution and the laws of the United States, do hereby proclaim Thursday, November 28, 2019, as a National Day of Thanksgiving.”

Trump is making America AND Thanksgiving great again!

Meanwhile in Ohio, Jim Jordan was the Fox News watching, QAnon believing, Infowars loving crazy uncle sitting at the table for family Thanksgiving. Everybody had to get good and drunk to tolerate that bastard for 3 hours.

“Thanksgiving will be especially difficult for Jim Jordan next year since legally he’ll have to sit 500 ft. from the kids table” — Toby Morton

Also in Ohio, Republicans have written a bill that orders doctors to perform a scientifically impossible procedure to remove a blob of growing cells that have implanted themselves inside the fallopian tube and reimplant them in the uterus where they belong. If they don’t do it, they will face “abortion murder” charges. This procedure does not exist but that hasn’t stopped Republicans from trying to make it a law. The scientific fact is an ectopic pregnancy is a life threatening condition which can kill a woman if the embryonic tissue is not removed. This bill bans abortion outright and defines a fertilized egg as an “unborn child”.

Team Trump is claiming that the Washington Post claimed, WITHOUT EVIDENCE, that Trump shared a “doctored” photo of himself. They want to see some hard evidence that the picture Trump shared that showed his head on Sylvester Stallone’s body in “Rocky III” is, in fact, a doctored image.

A former Deutsche Bank executive who had a part in signing off on shady loans to Trump killed himself in his Malibu home last week. Thomas Bowers oversaw Trump’s private banker. Deutsche Bank lent him around $2 billion when nobody else would because of his history of defaulting on loans and declaring bankruptcy. The bank is under investigation now by 2 Congressional committees and the New York Attorney General. He hung himself like Jeffrey Epstein did.

Impeachment proceedings are moving to the House Judiciary Committee. Its first hearing will be on Wednesday at 10 am. The panel has invited Trump, knowing full well that he’d never show because he’d be under oath and can’t tell the truth to save his life.

Hey Trump! Do the world a favor and resign today. It’s Black Friday and we could change the meaning from massive greed and consumption to you quitting and ending the darkest period in US history.

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Daily Crime Report - recounts of Trump and the Republicans’ daily disasters, with puns. Read them all in quarterly reports in The Treason Chronicles on Kindle.

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Daily Crime Report - recounts of Trump and the Republicans’ daily disasters, with puns. Read them all in quarterly reports in The Treason Chronicles on Kindle.