The Party of Reagan

Spike Dolomite
5 min readOct 19, 2020

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Trump has now held packed rallies in 3 out of the 5 states with coronavirus positivity rates higher than 20%. He pandered to evangelicals in Nevada yesterday by showing up for Sunday service at the International Church of Las Vegas with Hope Hicks and Kayleigh McEnany before his MAGA rally. They weren’t wearing masks. Trump showed off how rich he was by putting a wad of $20 bills into the offering bucket. When he bowed his head to pray Hope Hicks had a hard time keeping a straight face. He never goes to church.

Ronald Reagan didn’t go to church either.

Republicans are getting ready for Joe Biden (who goes to church) to win. They’re about to get “very concerned” about the national debt that they created and will blame on the Democrats. Biden plans on paying that down by taxing people who make over $400,000. Watch the Republicans yell, “Taxation without representation!”

Republicans are groveling in the gutter now by accusing Hunter Biden of being in possession of child pornography. That’s a Russian tactic. Senator Ron Johnson from Wisconsin is leading the crusade because he’s a Russian tactic too.

Fox News is telling its viewers that Facebook and Twitter are suppressing the child porn story. That’s full on QAnon crap.

The next 2 weeks will be inundated with Russian tactics so don’t look, click, listen or pass any of it on.

Republican hypocrite fun fact: “Make America Great Again” was Ronald Reagan’s campaign slogan. Trump stole it like he has everything else. Reagan was the first celebrity to be president. Trump was a sloppy second.

Reagan was the first to bullshit people right to their faces by convincing them that he was just like them. Trump is a sloppy second. Republicans adopted Reagan’s method acting tricks to con people into believing that the GOP was the champion of the little guy which is anything but true. Democrats are the party of the little guy. But Reagan, like Trump, pulled it off. Reagan came from Hollywood, owned his own ranch and had lots and lots of very rich friends. Trump came from a tower with his own name on it in Manhattan and pretended to be rich so he could have lots and lots of rich friends. Reagan figured out before Trump that people will believe anything if you tell them what they want to hear. Take for instance Black people being lazy and living off of your hard earned tax dollars. Reagan started it with “welfare queens” and Trump has carried it forth with Black people are going to invade white suburbia. Black lives don’t matter to Trump and they didn’t matter to Reagan.

“All y’all want to play this little game that Donald Trump is like you, you’re stupid. You’re being played. You’re getting punked. But what’s so bad about it is you’re complicit in your own punking.” — Michael Steele, Ex-Chair of the Republican National Committee

Reagan told people that if the rich got richer by paying less taxes that it would “trickle down” to everybody else which was total bullshit but people believed it anyway AND THEY STILL DO. The gap between the rich and everybody else got much wider during the Reagan years. That’s when moms left home to work, people started working 2 jobs, and everybody started living on credit.

Things only get better for everybody else when the rich pay their fair share in taxes. That’s where the Democrats come in.

Today’s GOP has a lot in common with Trump. They’re all addicted to debt but they sell a brand that says “We’re good for business!” People believe it like they believe that processed foods are good for you.

Bill Clinton presented Congress with the first balanced budget in 30 years and as a result the country experienced the longest period of economic growth in US history. Only Democrats are good for the economy.

Trump has brought the Republican party into focus. Now everybody but MAGAs know what they’re all about. It took long enough, but Trump is so relentless and outrageous and dangerous that everybody can’t avoid him and that’s actually a good thing. The Party of Reagan is finally over.

Republicans have never lived by “family values.” They just used “family values” to attack and define Democrats. They’ve been having affairs and gay sex, getting divorced, and seeking out abortions all along. They aren’t conservative or active participants in democracy, either. They are for whoever and whatever will keep them in power. They downplay their own education and intelligence and brand Democrats as elitist so they won’t lose any dumb voters because only dumb people vote for them.

“The Republican Congress now represents a party with very few significant defining principles other than the promotion of the president’s impulse at the moment.” — Former Senator Judd Gregg

Republicans are so so so so so quiet. They hollered every damn day when Obama was president that he was a lawless wannabe king who defied the constitution. Every day with that crap. And people believed them. Now that we really do have a lawless dictator who has burned the constitution, they say nothing. Republicans are killing America.

Democrats are the pro-life party. Vote for Biden/Harris if you want to live.

15 days until election day.

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Spike Dolomite
Spike Dolomite

Written by Spike Dolomite

Daily Crime Report - recounts of Trump and the Republicans’ daily disasters, with puns.

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