The Worst is Yet to Come

Spike Dolomite
4 min readDec 5, 2020

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Covid 19 was the number 1 cause of death in America this week — above cancer and heart disease.

It’s been 10 months since the pandemic started and the CDC is finally recommending “universal mask use” outside of home. Duh. Not wearing a mask right now is like not wearing a condom during the AIDS epidemic in the cocaine fueled 80s.

The CDC is saying that the next 3 months are going to be the worst time for public health in the history of the nation. The last 8 months won’t compare. The last 8 months will be a piece of Mar-a-Lago chocolate cake compared to what’s coming.

10% of North Dakota has covid.

1 in every 700 Connecticut residents has died from covid.

South Dakota Governor Kristi Noem mocked Joe Biden for asking people to wear masks for the first 100 days of his presidency even though coronavirus deaths have risen 47% in the past 2 weeks. South Dakovid has the highest rate of hospitalizations in the country but the Republican governor refuses to do anything about it.

Health care workers feel lost, forgotten and under attack. We have gone from singing praises to health care workers collectively out of our windows each night to blowing off CDC guidelines and punching healthcare workers on our death beds.

Only 2 Americans died of Ebola and the Republicans called Obama a failed leader. 280,000 people have died from the coronavirus and they’re telling Trump what a great job he’s doing. They thank him, pat him on his head, and give him cookies so he won’t bite them.

A new covid model is projecting up to 539,000 deaths by April. Trump hasn’t even mentioned the pandemic since the election.

Republicans framed covid as Democratic rhetoric and assured their voters that we’d never hear about covid again after the election. It’s been a month since the eleciton an it’s worse. It’s going to get much, much worse over the next 3 months.

Matt Gaetz was a guest of honor at a Young Republicans of New York City party in Jersey City. They flaunted their disdain for social distancing and covid rules by tweeting a photo of the group boozing it up, cheeks all aglow and cleavage as far as the “I” could see to Governor Cuomo across the river with the caption, “come and get me.” Jersey City’s chief prosecutor saw the tweet and tweeted back, “Pssst…you are in #JerseyCity — not New York. Gov. Cuomo may not be able to ‘come and get’ you. But I can.” The restaurant that they were partying at has been ordered to close. The governor of New Jersey told the press and tweeters that Matt Gaetz isn’t welcome in his state anymore and that law enforcement is investigating the event. Matt Gaetz predictably tweeted a few smart ass comments unbecoming of an adult sitting congressman. New York City Young Republicans Club President Gavin Wax defended his group by tweeting, “We embrace life and living while you all cower in your pods worried about a disease with a 99%+ survivability rate.” 24,000 people in New York City have already died and more might from this single incident.

17 million people face eviction in the dead of winter during a deadly pandemic when the moratorium ends.

Southwest Airlines is going to furlough 7,000 workers.

712,000 people filed for unemployment last week.

The economy can’t recover unless covid is conquered first.

Trump is still saying he won. He keeps getting his cult followers to send him money for his “legal defense fund” (what’s a billionaire doing setting up a GoFund me?) Trump got more people to give him money after the election than before the election. $200 million free money. Trump’s cult followers are the dumbest people in the world.

Trump is doing a MAGA rally in Georgia today for fellow rich grifting Republicans, David Perdue and Kelly Loeffler. The bar is so low for Republicans that inviting an impeached one term loser president facing all sorts of criminal indictments and charges of human rights abuses on the day after the inauguration to endorse you is a good idea. This ought to be good. He hasn’t done a rally since before the election and he thinks he won…..

46 more days.

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Spike Dolomite
Spike Dolomite

Written by Spike Dolomite

Daily Crime Report - recounts of Trump and the Republicans’ daily disasters, with puns.

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