There There

Spike Dolomite
4 min readFeb 4, 2019


Looks like the LA Rams don’t have to worry about being invited to the White House. They lost. There, there Rams fans. At least your favorite team won’t have to be insulted by the president.

In a 15 minute interview before the Super Bowl, Trump said he might shut down the government and invade both Iran and Venezuela. He said that Nancy Pelosi wants open borders and “doesn’t mind human trafficking.” He gushed over his man crush, Kim Jong-un and said that they had “fantastic chemistry” and “tremendous correspondence.” The 34 people who have been indicted so far? Those are Russian bloggers. Let’s change the subject. Look over there! Hillary!!!!

Trump prefers having “acting” cabinet officials rather than Senate confirmed permanent officials, because he has more control. “It’s easier to make moves when they’re acting. I like acting because I can move so quickly. It gives me more flexibility.”

Trump is firing undocumented workers who have worked for him for years in his third club.

Since the midterms, Trump has done even more of nothing. He spends 60% of his scheduled time in unstructured “executive time” DOING NOTHING. What’s he doing in there? Watching porn? No. It’s Fox News!

Is there anybody in there?

Fox and Friends invited someone on their show to enlighten viewers about the plight of the conservative student. “Their entire life, it’s been an uphill battle, and they’ve also had to deal with President Obama.” They face discrimination on a daily basis. There, there, poor little white students. Nobody knows the troubles you’ve seen. Nobody knows your sorrow. Except every other white person who believes they are the superior race.

Not only has Trump saved the world from North Korea and gotten rid of ISIS but he’s going to eliminate AIDS now too. Tune in tomorrow night during the State of the Union and he’ll tell you.

Trump is sending 3,750 troops to the southern border before the State of the Union, right after he spent the weekend golfing, because you know, national emergency. He doesn’t think we notice that before any major speech, event, or indictment, caravans always seem to be heading for an unsuspecting white woman near you. He wants to declare a national emergency even though his Intel chiefs refuted him publicly last week. He doesn’t care. It’s great TV. They’re over there and they’re getting closer! Drum roll please……..and a tweet! Dems do nothing. If there is no Wall, there is no Security. Human Trafficking, Drugs and Criminals of all dimensions — KEEP OUT!

The Trump administration doesn’t want to pull thousands of migrant children out of their “sponsor” homes to be with their own families because they say it would be too traumatic for them.

Trump said that universal healthcare doesn’t work anywhere in the world. Wrong.

Democrats are going after Trump’s trips to Mar-a-Lago. They’re investigating conflicts of interest and the emoluments clause. Party over sycophants. There and there!

Democrats are confronting race and identity head on in the Trump era, holding themselves accountable and speaking honestly about some of the most difficult issues in American life today, stuff that can’t be wrapped up in a dumbed down, primal scream talking point. They’re talking about race during a presidential campaign season. They’re going there.

Meanwhile, the Republicans are huddled together in their boarded up White Castle. Every time one of them gets old and dies, they beat their “Fear the Liberals, Fear the Change” drums and complain about shrinkage. Their greatest fear is that there is no their there.

Republican hypocrite fun fact: There are only 16 minority Republicans members in Congress. That’s only 5.5%. They’ll never go there.

Democrats have nearly 6 times more minority members than the Republicans. There is a their there.

Black History Month: On February 25, 1870, Hiram Rhodes Revels from Mississippi was seated as the first black member of the Senate, five years after the abolition of slavery and were legally considered to be people.

Are we there yet? No.

Vote Democrat.

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Spike Dolomite

Daily Crime Report - recounts of Trump and the Republicans’ daily disasters, with puns. Read them all in quarterly reports in The Treason Chronicles on Kindle.