Thick as a Brick

Spike Dolomite
5 min readDec 20, 2021


The author of the text that Congressman Jamie Raskin read during the Select Committee public meeting a week ago was written by former Republican governor of Texas, failed presidential candidate, Dancing with the Stars contestant, Trump’s energy secretary, and one of the “Three Amigos” who ran a shadow foreign policy in Ukraine on Trump’s behalf, Rick Perry. He sent a text to Mark Meadows the day after the election that read: “HERE’s an AGRESSIVE (sic) STRATEGY: Why can t (sic) the states of GA NC PENN and other R controlled state houses declare this is BS (where conflicts and election not called that night) and just send their own electors to vote and have it go to the SCOTUS.”

Rick Perry tried to take over a branch of government that he can’t remember. Imagine how scared he is right now. He’s got to be shitting bricks. The same for the whole Sedition Caucus. Home for the winter break, they must be glued to their front windows looking for the FBI and haters with bricks.

Mitch McConnell, after being against forming a Select Committee, now supports the committee because Trump is no good to him now. He is pleased with how they’re laying bricks for Trump’s wall, plotting a comeback for the GOP.

The Select Committee closing in on Trump for inciting a coup is the least of Trump’s worries. He released a statement over the weekend that is most likely in response to news that he could be indicted in New York soon. He slammed the Democrats, AGs, and DAs which means he probably received some sort of notice that he’s going to need to report to court soon. The bricks are piling up.

Roger Stone needs $35,000 to pay the lawyers and security who appeared with him for his deposition so he could plead the fifth. He wants other people to pay for it so he set up a “legal defense fund.” Why not? He set up a different fund for his wife’s cancer treatments and now she’s cured.

Proud Boy wanna be Eduard Florea got 3 years in jail for making a death threat against Senator Raphael Warnock on Parler.

Robert Scott Palmer, the domestic terrorist who attacked cops at the Capitol while wearing an American flag jacket with Trump’s name on it, got more than 5 years in federal prison for hurling a plank, fire extinguisher and a pole at police. That’s the longest sentence so far for the attack on the Capitol.

Jim Bob Duggar, the father of recently convicted sex offender Josh Duggar, lost his Republican primary for an Arkansas state senate seat last week. He only got 15% of the vote. 456 weirdos voted for him.

Neo-Nazi supporter Trump stepped in it again by saying that American Jews “either don’t like Israel or don’t care about Israel.”

“Maybe as Ivanka busily trims her Chanukah bush she can shout over to her anti-semitic dad that what he is saying is about an 8 or 9 on the David Dukerometer.” — Jeremy Newberger

Thick as a brick Eric Trump said his family is not smart enough or politically experienced enough to commit any of the crimes they’re being accused of. After he won the primary, they didn’t know what to do next. They didn’t even know what a delegate was so how could they have colluded with Russia?

Imagine how scared Ivanka, Jared, Eric and Junior are right now. They’ll need brick softeners.

Michael Cohen is suing Trump and Bill Barr for sending him back to jail for writing a book about Trump. He was on home confinement because of covid but they had him thrown back in jail out of retaliation. Throw the brick at him and make him sit in solitary confinement for 16 days.

Washington state Senator Doug Ericksen has died from covid. He ignored the travel advisory warnings and went to El Salvador anyway and caught it there. He couldn’t leave the country so he contacted Republicans back home and asked if they could get him hooked up with monoclonal antibodies since they aren’t available in El Salvador (it’s not OK for Americans to get prescription drugs from Canada but it’s OK for me.) He got better than drugs. With his connections he got air lifted out of the country to Florida. If bricks could fly……..A hard core anti everything and former Trump state campaign manager, he was so opposed to all that Democratic governor Jay Inslee did to slow the spread of covid that he called for him to resign. He had been in the state legislature since 1998. What a way to go. Suffocating to death to own the libs.

Republican hypocrite fun fact: While working for the state government Doug Ericksen had been lobbying the Cambodian government as a foreign agent since 2019 scoring $500,000 for his new business.

Gary Kelly, the CEO of Southwest Airlines testified in front of Congress about masks on planes, 2 days before testing positive for covid. He kept coughing throughout his testimony, spreading that shit everywhere, just like the contagious anti-maskers he lets fly on his planes.

Democrat in name only Joe Mansion tossed a bag of bricks at Biden, the Dems, his state and the whole country by going on Republican state TV Fox “News” over the weekend to announce that he’s voting no on Build Back Better because it’s a conflict of interest for him — it would hurt his family’s fossil fuel business. He’s only getting a lump of coal for X-mas but that’s all he really wanted anyway.

All the other Republicans are getting bricks.

Support the Daily Crime Report on Patreon!

For the best journalists to follow on Twitter, click here.

For straight news, check out these reliable sources on Twitter.

Recommended podcasts.

The Daily Crime Reports are being published as “quarterly reports” (three month groups) as part of “The Treason Chronicles” on Amazon for Kindle. To purchase one or more quarters, click here.



Spike Dolomite

Daily Crime Report - recounts of Trump and the Republicans’ daily disasters, with puns. Read them all in quarterly reports in The Treason Chronicles on Kindle.