Tip Off

Spike Dolomite
5 min readFeb 9, 2024

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The justices on the Supreme Court heard the pros and cons of letting a conman and soon to be convict for attempting a coup have federal protection to run for president. The first to ask a question was none other than Clarence Thomas, who should have recused himself because his wife was in on the insurrection. He took the opportunity to rub it in our faces that he has all the power and we don’t. The US is tipping in the wrong direction.

While Trump’s lawyers were making the assertion that “even an admitted insurrectionist” can be president, the police in Brazil were seizing former president Jair Bolsonaro’s passport and arresting his aides. He’s going to be tried for doing the same thing in Brazil that Trump did in America on January 6 but unlike Trump, the conservatives in Brazil are not on his side. They’re on Brazil’s side. Brazil is tipping in the right direction.

The conservative justices, who are real big on states’ rights, don’t seem to be big on states’ rights in this case. They don’t trust states to manage their own elections. Every time “insurrection” came up, the MAGA justices redirected the conversation and tipped their favor towards Trump.

Matt Gaetz and Elise Stefanik are introducing a resolution that says Trump didn’t engage in insurrection.

Speaker Mike Johnson and the repugs in the House broke their own incompetency record by failing twice in one day to pass their own votes. The MAGAs in the House aren’t tipping, they’re toppling.

The first boner was a bill for aid for Israel and not Ukraine but it didn’t pass. Then they failed to impeach Alejandro Nicholas Mayorkas, the Secretary of Homeland Security. Mike Johnson blamed a Democrat who he thought wouldn’t be there for screwing things up for them by showing up to vote anyway. They were counting on Al Green to be stuck in the hospital, recovering from intestinal surgery, and that he’d be a no show but he showed. He signed a waiver to leave the hospital and then took an Uber in his hospital gown and socks to vote, in a wheelchair. His last minute vote blocked the impeachment. Marjorie Taylor Greene accused the Dems of “hiding” him. Constituents in Al Green’s district will tell you that no matter what, he’ll always show up. He’s a bad ass who was the first to bring articles of impeachment against Trump, one man trying to tip the balance of power in the right direction.

The border security bill that a small bipartisan group of senators spent months negotiating for was dead on arrival in the House, just like Mike Johnson said it would be, even though it has everything they want in it. They killed it because Trump told them to. He wants to run on the border. He’s going for the hard core racist vote.

Tipping is racist fun fact: The practice of tipping took off after the Civil War. U.S. employers in the hospitality sector looked for ways to avoid paying former slaves so they paid them in tips so they could get around having to pay wages.

The 118th congress is a little over halfway through the session and is on its way to being the worst congress in US history.

A US military strike in Baghdad killed Wisam Mohammed Saber al-Saedi, a Kataib Hezbollah commander who was responsible for attacks on American forces in the region. The attack was carried out by a drone against a vehicle in Baghdad.

In Gaza, 32 of the remaining 136 Israeli hostages are dead. Netanyahu will not agree to a ceasefire. Netanyahu doesn’t want peace and Hamas are terrorists who won’t negotiate. Biden wants peace and Blinken is doing what he can to achieve it and still they’re being blamed for genocide. Biden deserves credit for trying to broker peace, but it’s fashionable and easy to blame him. The wars in the Middle East are old wars that keep recurring because everybody is out for revenge. It’s up to the Israeli people to get rid of Netanyahu and change the makeup of the parliamentary Israeli government if they want a workable two-state solution.

The free world needs to tip the scales back towards democracy. Vote all of the demagogues who have risen to power out of power.

Curtis Sliwa and his vigilante group, the Guardian Angels, tackled a “migrant shoplifter” live on Sean Hannity’s show. He wasn’t committing a crime, he was “just a pest trying to disrupt filming.” New York prosecutors could charge the Guardian Angels with gang assault which is a hate crime. Racial profiling was on the tips of their tongues and it’s all on camera. Mandatory minimum sentence: 3.5 to 5 years prison. Maximum: 15–25 years.

A Michigan jury convicted a school shooter’s mom for what her son did - bringing a gun to school and killing 4 people. Jennifer Crumbley has been found guilty of 4 counts of involuntary manslaughter. Maybe gun nuts with kids will think twice about giving their kids guns for birthdays and C report cards. Her son, the murderer, pleaded guilty. The dad goes on trial next month.

Tucker interviewed Putin in Moscow. Hot tip: You can see it on his website but don’t bother. It’s pure propaganda and we get enough of that on social media. The Russians make fun of him and Hillary Clinton called him a “useful idiot” when asked what she thought about the interview.

Robert Hur, the special counsel appointed to investigate whether Biden improperly handled sensitive government documents, concluded that Biden did store classified documents on Afghanistan and the Obama administration’s decision to send additional troops there in a cardboard box in his garage. He said that even though Biden willfully retained and disclosed classified information, he will not face charges. Trump, Fox News, and the Republicans are going to run with this because not only do they get to say that Biden did the same thing Trump did by taking classified documents, but they can make a big deal out of his age by emphasizing that they’re not going to press charges because “We have also considered that, at trial, Mr. Biden would likely present himself to a jury, as he did during our interview of him, as a sympathetic, well-meaning, elderly man with a poor memory.” He’s SENILE! He’s too old to be president! Biden is 4 years older than Trump and in much better health. Trump tips the scales into morbid obesity domination and must be stopped.

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Spike Dolomite
Spike Dolomite

Written by Spike Dolomite

Daily Crime Report - recounts of Trump and the Republicans’ daily disasters, with puns.

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