Today’s Forecast: Hot and Muggy

Trump’s former campaign manager’s trial begins today! Paul Manafort is in big, big trouble.

Pardon you? Pardon me. Pardon you, pardon me?

It’s Rudy and Trump against the world now. They take advice from no one and are making shit up as they go along. Yesterday their position was collusion is not a crime. Before that there was no collusion. Today it could be we thought you meant collision, not collusion.

Trump is tweeting at the Koch brothers this morning because they made a 5 minute commercial on “protectionism.” Now the Kochs are weak on borders and trade. He doesn’t need their money or their bad ideas.

Trump greeted his devotees this morning with a daily dose of immigrants are all murderers and rapists and thieves and they’re coming over the border by the millions and they’re headed their way and only he can save them. Oh, and Rush Limbaugh is a great guy who “truly gets it.”

Republican hypocrite fun fact: Laura Ingraham of Fox News called the Koch Brothers “elitist.” Laura went to an Ivy League school. She’s worth millions. Fox News viewers are dumb. But at least they’re not “elitist.” Right, Fox News?

The former head of human resources at FEMA, Corey Coleman, has been accused of giving women jobs if they’d have sex with him. Once hired, if they wouldn’t keep having sex with him, he’d demote them. Corey isn’t available for comment.

The Prime Minister of Italy is here. He did a joint press conference with Trump where Trump said he’d meet with Iran any time, any place, without pre-conditions. The Republicans pretended like they didn’t hear that.

Secretary of State Mike Pompeo has said that Iran’s leaders resemble “the mafia more than a government.” After Trump said he’d meet with the Iranians, Pompeo rushed in to tell everybody what Trump really meant, which is he’d meet with them any time, any place, WITH conditions. It’s only a matter of time before Trump invites them all to the White House for a private meeting.

Autocratic update: The war on the free press is getting worse. On top of Trump touting Fox News as the only reliable news source, he has been trying to ban CNN veteran reporters Jim Acosta and April Ryan from covering him. A White House pool reporter representing a multitude of news outlets was kicked out of the White House last week. Yesterday, Jim Acosta got thrown out of the White House for questioning Trump about Russia collusion.

Trump is flying to Florida today to publically endorse Ron DeSantis who is running for governor because he doesn’t have anything better to do today.

Americans can start downloading 3D schematics for do-it-yourself plastic guns because America isn’t dangerous enough.

A federal judge ordered the Trump administration to transfer all undocumented immigrant minors out of a detention facility in Texas due to allegations of abuse and drugging. With the hour by breaking news, don’t forget about these kids. Every hour that goes by is pure hell for them and their parents.

Jeff Sessions announced that the Department of Justice has created a Religious Liberty Task Force to keep Christians from being oppressed. Christians have never been oppressed in America. Kooky evangelicals like Sessions have been made fun of and avoided, yes, but not discriminated against. Discrimination is for Jews and Muslims (and Sikhs because people are too stupid to know that Sikhs aren’t Muslims.)

Kim Jong-un’s nuclear program is still active.

“Trump’s base didn’t vote for him to behave presidential, or even act in the best interest of this nation. They want to be entertained, not enlightened. They want to live vicariously through his insanity. To observe the human personification of white rage, no matter the cost” — Aiden Wolfe

Yesterday was the 99th day until the midterm elections and Rudy was all over the place, rambling like a guilty maniac on the loose. 99 bottles of criminals on Trump’s wall, 99 bottles of criminals. You take one down and pass it to the jail downtown, 98 bottles of criminals on Trump’s wall.

98 more days until the midterms.

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Daily Crime Report - recounts of Trump and the Republicans’ daily disasters, with puns. Read them all in quarterly reports in The Treason Chronicles on Kindle.

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Daily Crime Report - recounts of Trump and the Republicans’ daily disasters, with puns. Read them all in quarterly reports in The Treason Chronicles on Kindle.