Told You So

Spike Dolomite
3 min readJan 24, 2025

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Trump reduced security detail for Mike Pompeo, his former secretary of state, putting him in danger. Nobody will take to the streets over it because he’s so terrible but it should concern everyone that he’s going after the physical safety of his enemies.

Farmworkers are not showing up to work because they fear getting picked up by ICE so now produce is going to start rotting in the fields which will cause prices to go up.

A US veteran was illegally detained during ICE raids in New Jersey.

Schools and churches are fair game for ICE raids now. They can grab a mom when she goes to school to pick up her kids or yank out whole families from pews on Sunday mornings then kick them to the Mexican curb.

Native Americans are being racially profiled by ICE and falsely accused of being illegal immigrants. Trump signed an executive order to defund Native American education grants and scholarships for native children.

A new bill in Mississippi gives bounty hunters $1,000 for every undocumented person they capture.

The KKK in Kentucky is distributing fliers telling immigrants to leave now.

Trump was supposed to tour the fires in California today but neither Governor Gavin Newsom nor Mayor Karen Bass have heard from him. Trump is putting conditions on federal aid for California such as voter ID.

Reality TV couple Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt are suing Los Angeles after losing their Pacific Palisades home in the wildfires. They are holding the city responsible for losing their reality TV house. Since this is a reality TV presidency maybe Trump can just arrange for them to have a new show. He could call it “Fired.”

Trump will be signing an executive order that will either reform or get rid of FEMA. He thinks states should handle their own natural disasters.

Trump’s DOJ does not view any of the cops who were attacked on January 6 as victims. Letting hundreds of cop beaters loose isn’t sitting well with the largest police union. They took their endorsement away from Trump because he pardoned the insurrectionists. The guy who tased Officer Michael Fanone over and over, causing him to have a heart attack and giving him permanent brain damage is walking free, a clear threat to him and his family.

Trump cancelled cancer research.

Trump’s tax plan is if you make more than $360,000 you’re safe. If you make less, you’ll be paying their share of taxes.

Trump pointed out that Biden didn’t pardon himself.

Trump has ordered that there be no communications between the Center for Disease Control and hospitals.

JPMorgan Chase paid its chief executive Jamie Dimon $39 million for 2024. He got a 8% raise.

Trump released the classified documents about the JFK assassination which should keep a chunk of MAGAs busy for awhile. They’ll get to find out when JFK Jr is returning.

MAGA Republican Andy Ogles wrote bill to allow Trump to have a third term.

The MAGAs in Congress are nervous that the sexually explicit messages and texts they sent Cassidy Hutchinson will become public. The ones with the hairless wieners are the most worried because now everyone will know they shave their wieners and send pictures of their tiny little friends to the wenches who dare work in government.

Speaker Mike Johnson, self avowed Christian nationalist, referred to the bishop asking for Trump to have mercy on the oppressed as a bid to “promote her radical ideology.”

Project 25 is being successfully implemented.

Told you so.

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Spike Dolomite
Spike Dolomite

Written by Spike Dolomite

Daily Crime Report - recounts of Trump and the Republicans’ daily disasters, with puns.

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