Treason Tour

Jim Jordan stupidly admitted to forwarding a text to Mark Meadows the day before the insurrection that said that Mike Pence had the constitutional authority to object to the certification of election results from certain states. Jim Jordan has gone from being a worthless, ineffective, obnoxious clown to a traitor to the country. Being a tour guide for the 3 hour treason tour is punishable by death. He doesn’t belong in Congress. He and the other members of the Sedition Caucus are headed for jail. In the old days they’d be hung for treason.

Reminder: Kevin McCarthy wanted to put Jim Jordan on the Select Committee but Nancy Pelosi said no way. She knew he was involved. She wasn’t going to put anybody on that committee to investigate themselves, act like a gorilla during hearings to divert attention away from treason, and then go tell Trump and the others what the committee was investigating. She wasn’t about to let him be a treason tourist.

Mark Meadows is the first White House chief of staff to face criminal charges since Watergate. Trump plucked him out of Congress to work for the mob. While in Congress, he was part of the far-right lunatic caucuss so he had been building the set for the touring stage for years. Trump has walked off of the show and thrown Mark Meadows under the tour bus. He called him “fucking stupid.” Take the fall and break a leg, Mark. The show won’t go on.

Jeffrey Clark was supposed to show up yesterday to testify after rescheduling already because he didn’t feel well. He has called in sick again. The Select Committee is sick of his treasonous ass.

The courts are overflowing with cases of dummy “tourists” who never listened to their mothers when she asked them if the cool kid at school jumped off a bridge and told you to, would you jump? Gracyn Courtright of West Virginia says she got kicked out of college after being arrested for carrying a “Members Only” sign into the Senate Chamber. She could get 6 months in jail. Her defense? She got “caught up in the hysteria.” She didn’t even vote in 2020. Dummy got kicked out of college. Truck driver Andrew Hatley from South Carolina would like home detention because he got “caught up in the madness.” The dumb fuck lives in his truck. That’s hardly home confinement. Russell Peterson has been sentenced to 30 days. He’s the guy who livestreamed himself inside the Capitol wearing the “Fuck Your Feelings” sweatshirt. His mom bragged about her son sitting in Nancy Pelosi’s chair on Facebook. One of her Facebook friends saw that and notified the FBI. These are the guys that the GOP is pandering to.

The Republicans are still drilling down on election fraud even though the only cases that have been prosecuted are people who voted for Trump. In Pennsylvania, Bruce Bartman voted for Trump twice — once for himself and once for his dead mom. He got 5 years probation because he’s white. Three golf cart driving old farts who live at The Villages in South Florida were just arrested for casting multiple votes in the 2020 election. They’ll probably get time served since they don’t have much time left anyway.

Sean Hannity and Laura Ingraham are using the news that they were texting Mark Meadows during the insurrection as fodder for their comedy routine, “Who’s Afraid of the DC Wolf?” Que the laugh track and go to commercial — adult diapers and bail bonds.

Republicans in Congress are acting as if none of this is happening. Except Mitch McConnell. He stuck his head out of his shell to give a clue that he won’t be sticking with the Sedition Caucus. He said it will be interesting to find out who was involved.

“There was an attack on the US Capitol to stop the certification of Trump’s election loss. For Trump. Because he told them to. People died. And it could’ve been so much worse. Then Trump told them he loved them Republicans ignored it, and now they’re all on network morning shows” — Luke Zaleski

As expected, the Republicans have made a hero out of Kyle Rittenhouse and have invited him to be a speaker at the Turning Point USA conference next week in Phoenix. Lauren Boebert will be a speaker, too. They should call it, “The Assault Weapons and Treason Tour.”

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Daily Crime Report - recounts of Trump and the Republicans’ daily disasters, with puns. Read them all in quarterly reports in The Treason Chronicles on Kindle.

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