Triumph of the Swill

Spike Dolomite
4 min readJun 20, 2019

Anybody but Trump. That’s what the Orlando Sentinel’s editorial board published in its paper on the day that Trump held his 2020 Reelection rally in Orlando. The Orlando Sentinel has been endorsing Republican candidates for 50 years. Now they say a used napkin from Pump N Taco (pump gas while you eat tacos) would make a better president.

It was just another MAGA rally. A crowd full of angry over fed under educated hateful racist white people in red hats and ICE ICE Baby t-shirts, and Proud Boys in tactical gear ready to protect Trump fans from liberals, all standing in a sea of trash holding signs like “Latinos for Trump” and “Blacks for Trump.” ABORTION ABORTION ABORTION! SOCIALISM SOCIALISM SOCIALISM! FAKE NEWS FAKE NEWS FAKE NEWS! LOCK HER UP LOCK HER UP LOCK HER UP LOCK HER UP! The wall. The wall. THE WALL!!!!!

Trump said he designed the wall himself and that Obamacare’s individual mandate is “one of the worst thing anybody has ever had to live through.”

Hate the media. Hate immigrants. Hate Hillary. Hate Democrats. I am an outsider and a victim……..the same campaign as 2016. MAGAs don’t care. They just want him to autograph their hats and boobs and take selfies with them.

Trump promised to cure cancer, wipe out AIDS, and put an American on Mars.

Hope Hicks testified behind closed doors and wouldn’t answer any questions and then they just let her go because of course they did. She walked in and out as if it was the cat walk during fashion week in New York. In his regular interview with Hannity last night, Trump accused 2 members of Congress of taking creeper pics of “the wonderful Hope Hicks” during her closed door testimony and then “leaking the pictures.”

Meanwhile, the House Judiciary Committee conducted a hearing on HR 40 — a bill designed to start a conversation on reparations for slavery and its consequences. Most of the people testifying made sense, the Democrats on the committee made sense, but the Republicans of course didn’t make any sense. Christian Congressman Michael Johnson from Louisiana wanted everyone to know that he was an expert on the subject because one of his kids is black. “We took him in at 14 because he had nowhere to go.” He and his son both agree that starting a conversation might be cathartic but it won’t bring justice. When you’re white roommate is tired and went to sleep you stay up late and burn the midnight oil. Blacks should take control of their own lives. God. God. Not the government’s job. We’re all made in the image of God. Our value is given to us by our creator. God before government. All about God.

Texas Tea Party Republican, Louie Gohmert, used his time to remind everybody that the Democratic party wore the white hoods back in the day and then he bragged about all the people he sentenced to death when he was a judge. They deserved it.

Mitch McConnell says reparations (admitting fault and giving compensation to descendants of slaves for the damage done by slavery and discriminatory laws) aren’t a good idea because “no one currently alive was responsible for that.” America elected Barack Obama so what more do you want.

Ta-Nehisi Coates smacked McConnell down with a 4 minute history lesson on slavery and all of the crimes and injustice against black people that he has been alive for. All of it is a direct result of slavery and Jim Crow.

Trump campaigns more than he governs.

Trump golfs more than he governs.

Trump watches TV more than he governs.

Trump tweets more than he governs.

The US military just announced that Iran shot down one of its drones in an unprovoked attack. Here we go. Trump is going to start a war with Iran so he can govern forever.

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Spike Dolomite

Daily Crime Report - recounts of Trump and the Republicans’ daily disasters, with puns. Read them all in quarterly reports in The Treason Chronicles on Kindle.