Jan 24, 2019
True Grift
They found Mike Pence. He’s been at home pretending he’s Bronco Billy the Kid, checking out his cowpoke and chaps in Mother’s mirror.
Michael Cohen has asked to postpone his hearing because he and his family have been getting threats from the outlaw president of the United States and his rodeo clown attorney, Rudy Giuliani.
Intimidation and witness tampering are a crime but so what, I can ride this bull (shit) longer than any of you empty holsters because I’m like really smart and have a big brain. I’m Trumpy the Kid!
The Wild Wild West Wing is in chaos. Grifters and Russian agents are playing cowboys and indians in their own B movie that they’re trying to pass off as a blockbuster runaway hit.
When Trump was asked about threatening Michael Cohen, he said Cohen is threatened by the truth and then he ranted on and on about the radical Democrats who don’t want border security, winning the 2016 election and the 2018 Senate, lowering prescription drug prices after 50 years, making money off of China, and how he won the Mexican American War with 24 carat gold stir ups and a co-signer.
When asked to respond to the new sheriff in town’s response to him demanding that he get to make the State of the Union speech no matter what she says, he said Nancy Pelosi can’t handle the truth. Nancy said he better hop right back on his jack ass and ride right out of town because he’s not welcome in these parts.
Elijah Cummings, Chair of the OK Corral House Oversight Committee says Michael Cohen will be testifying, one way or the other (the other meaning subpoenaed.) He also said that they’re doing an in depth investigation of the White House and Trump transition team security clearance processes, citing breaches at the highest levels of government. He sent a letter to the White House asking for an array of documents on Michael Flynn, Flynn Junior, John Bolton, Jared Kushner, and Sebastian Gorka. Trump will more than likely blow the request off like he always does. His MO is to not respond to attorneys’ requests when he’s being sued and then going ahead and just paying a fine. Since he can’t just pay a fine with the government he probably thinks nobody will do anything about it because he’s Butch Cassidy AND the Sundance Kid.
The National Air Traffic Controllers Association says they can’t calculate the level of risk currently at play, nor predict the point at which the entire system will break because this government shut down is unprecedented. It’s high noon up in the sky. That’s not funny. That’s really fucking scary.
So if a plane full of people wearing MAGA hats goes down, and there’s nobody around to see it, is it still Obama and Hillary and Nancy Pelosi’s fault?
Ranchers at the border have had enough of Trump’s shit. My home is not your range. You’re not building your stupid wall on my land. Trump doesn’t get it. He still thinks he’s the lone ranger, keeping the country safe from radical Pocahontases and brown people.
Trump is down to the bone with supporters. Even the really dumb ones who want the wall are saying that this shutdown is a bad idea. The MAGA Dude Ranch is running out of dudes.
Roll ’em roll ’em roll ’em RAW HIDE!
A marijuana retailer, BudTrader.com, is offering furloughed and unpaid federal workers free weed until the shutdown is over. That’s nice.
I’ve started compiling my Daily Crime Reports as “quarterly reports” for The Treason Chronicles. Get the first 4 reports today!
Treason Chronicles 1st Quarter 2017: Daily Crime Reports by Spike C. Dolomite ebook on Amazon for $3.99 April-June 2017
Treason Chronicles 2nd Quarter 2017: Daily Crime Reports by Spike C. Dolomite ebook on Amazon for $3.99 July-September 2017
Treason Chronicles 3rd Quarter 2017: Daily Crime Reports by Spike C. Dolomite ebook on Amazon for $3.99 October — December 2017
Treason Chronicles 4th Quarter 2018: Daily Crime Reports by Spike C. Dolomite ebook on Amazon for $3.99 January-March 2018
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