Trump 2.0
Trump surprised everybody by starting to name people for jobs in his regime before he pardoned everybody first. As soon as he takes the throne, he has promised to be dictator on Day 1 and will release the January 6 “patriots” (rioters) from jail, close the border, start deporting people, and put a halt on all federal criminal cases involving him. He will never be prosecuted for trying to overthrow the government, stealing classified documents, or selling our country’s secrets to our enemies.
Trump’s incoming border czar, Thomas Homan, promises there will be “a hell of a lot more” deportations this time so get ready for your groceries to cost a lot more. Your kids’ friends will start to disappear when Trump rounds up entire families.
Trump named Stephen Miller to be deputy chief of policy. White people who voted for Trump are confident that Trump and Miller won’t do anything to hurt them. They’re white! They voted for Trump! We’re the chosen people!
Elon Musk has been with Trump at Mar-a-Lago since the election, co- presidenting in conjunction with Putin.
Trump is saying he’s going to pull us out of the climate agreement for a second time. Let it all burn and flood.
Voters returned Josh Hawley, Ted Cruz and Rick Scott to the Senate.
Companies are scrambling to figure out how they’re going to manage with the looming tariffs Trump has promised. Others won’t be giving bonuses or raises this year because they’re going to have to stock up on raw product now before the price goes up. Nissan said it will cut 9,000 jobs in anticipation of tariffs.
Trump named MAGA Congresswoman Elise Stefanik to be his US ambassador to the United Nations. She used to be a moderate Republican but once Trump waived his ring around in front of her she not only kissed it, she deep throated it. Elise got what she wanted. That’s what happens if you swallow it.
The 10 richest people got $64 billion since Trump was re-elected.
The cops arrested a crazed man who planned on hurting Democratic Congressman and loud, outspoken critic of Trump, Jared Moskowitz of Florida.
The governors of California and Illinois have pledged to fight Trump when his revenge tour starts.
Putin put naked pictures of Melania on Russian TV. Trump hasn’t said a word. We all saw her naked during Trump 1.0.
America has the most robust economy in the world and a majority of people who read at about the 6th grade level voted for a guy with 6 bankruptcies to run it.
White women aren’t out in the streets celebrating their big win like the women who voted for Kamala Harris would have. They don’t want anybody to know they voted for him.
Everybody except white straight men are part of a segment of society that is at risk with a Trump presidency. They’ll regret what they did sooner or later, but they’ll keep that a secret because they’re not going to want to look like dumb fucks.
Don’t let MAGAs off the hook for being naive or duped once they start suffering the consequences of their vote. Trump is the most well known person in the world. They can’t claim they didn’t know he was going to do what he’s going to do. He’s got a big mouth. Everybody knows who he is. That’s who they wanted. They want restoration, not reformation. They want the patriarchy. Well, they got exactly what they wanted.
Half the country voted for hate, racism, and misogyny and 100% of the country will suffer the consequences.
America will circle the drain until Inauguration Day. We’ve all got 10 weeks to live. Get your affairs in order and prepare for a different time.
