Trump is Melting

Our day begins with the news that the sitting president who is running for re-election is officially under criminal investigation for bank and insurance fraud. The Manhattan DA is interested in much more than Trump paying off porn stars. It’s much easier to build a standard bank fraud case than a complex hush money/campaign finance case. If more criminal evidence is revealed after getting ahold of Trump’s tax returns he can investigate those too.

The news of the president being under criminal investigation is barely a blip in the news cycle.

He’s doing his best to control the daily narrative but he’s slipping. Even the craziest people in the country, his loyal cultist followers, are starting to drop off which is a serious loss for his campaign. He hasn’t been trying to win any new voters. He’s only campaigning to his racist rabid whacked base. He can’t afford to lose a single one.

Trump’s only campaign strategy at this point is to delegitimize the election. His buddy, Louis DeJoy, a rich white guy who has donated millions to Trump and the Republicans and owns $75 million in assets of USPS competitors, is in charge of the US Postal Service. Trump made him Postmaster General so he could destroy it and accomplish 2 things — win the election for Trump and get richer personally. He’s already told supervisors to tell their employees to slack off and let things pile up. Next he plans on closing post offices.

Trump is trying to claim that Democrats in Nevada are trying to use the pandemic to encourage people to vote by mail. They’re gonna cheat! He’s mad at Nevada right now because they just passed a law guaranteeing all registered voters the option to vote by mail. He tweeted: In an illegal late night coup, Nevada’s clubhouse Governor made it impossible for Republicans to win the state. Post Office could never handle the Traffic of Mail-In Votes without preparation. Using Covid to steal the state. See you in Court!

Nevada legislators say they’re not scared of Trump. It’s NEVADA. They’re not scared of anybody.

Trump is pushing for a vaccine before the election because he thinks it will help him win. He thinks that if he can push through some sort of antidote to the Trump Plague before November 3 that he will rise triumphant and not only win the election, but be hailed as a hero, which his deprived ego really, really needs. The anti vaxxers won’t be swayed and his base already thinks that Bill Gates is going to microchip them with the vaccine so that leaves everybody else and they’re like, ‘Aint no way in hell I’m getting in line to be injected with a substance cooked up in a MAGA lab under the maniacal direction of a sociopathic tyrant who desperately wants to avoid going to jail.”

Jerry Falwell Jr, king of the MAGA evangelicals, posted a picture of himself on his yacht with his arm around a cheeky red head. Both of them had their flies unzipped and their bellies hanging out. He told the good Christians who send him money for his yacht not to be shocked about the drink in his hand. It’s only black water. He took the post down soon after and is currently working with Trump’s PR team to convince people that they didn’t see it.

Trump said on camera that he is open to Microsoft or another US company buying TikTok, just so long as he gets a kick back.

Trump said “eh” when asked how he thought history would remember John Lewis. “I don’t know. I don’t know John Lewis. He chose not to come to my inauguration or my State of the Union speeches.”

Trump said he doesn’t want to see people get evicted, especially if they have to go to a shelter because the virus could spread. “It’s not their fault, it’s China’s fault.”

Trump said he has his Secret Police display no identifying information so Antifa and the terrorists won’t show up at their houses and scare the hell out of their families.

Speaking of scaring the hell out of families, in Aurora, Colorado (the same place that 23 year old Elijah McClain was killed by the cops while he was minding his own business walking home a year ago,) the cops were looking for a stolen motorcycle and stupidly pulled a full SUV over. They yanked a mom and 4 kids out of the vehicle and made them all lay face down on the hot pavement and handcuffed them. They pulled their guns on those kids and scared the living shit out of them (one was a BABY!). They cried for their mom. The family was black.

Speaking of scaring the living shit out of kids — kids are starting to go back to school where they could die from either the coronavirus or a mass shooting because America doesn’t care about its kids. Just the rich white ones who aren’t being forced to go to school.

91 days until we get to vote.

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Daily Crime Report - recounts of Trump and the Republicans’ daily disasters, with puns. Read them all in quarterly reports in The Treason Chronicles on Kindle.

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Daily Crime Report - recounts of Trump and the Republicans’ daily disasters, with puns. Read them all in quarterly reports in The Treason Chronicles on Kindle.